Life is A Choice

Testimony

It’s quite an obvious truth that the world we live in is unfair. Over and over again, from the justice system to the current pandemic, we clearly see the difference between the rich and the poor, the well-educated and the uneducated. But at the same time, the world is also fair. Coronavirus doesn’t discriminate to favor one group over another. To answer the question whether the world is fair is quite a daunting task, and I don’t know the answer. But there’s one thing I know for sure: as I started my journey to walk with God, my world has always been, currently is, and will always be fair. It may sound selfish but at the end of the day, whether the world is fair really doesn’t matter to me. The only thing that matters is that my world is fair. It has always been fair because God is my judge. God is fair, and since He’s my judge, my world is fair. In my world, I have never seen anyone working hard and not having enough. God always provides, and God is perfectly fair. “I have seen something else under the sun: The race is not to the swift or the battle to the strong, nor does food come to the wise or wealth to the brilliant or favor to the learned; but time and chance happen to them all” (Ecclesiastes 9:11). With time, I have seen justice to prevail as goodness is celebrated and evil is punished. It takes time of course, but at the end, justice is upheld, always.

When I reflect upon my life, I realize that as obstacles in life increase, my rewards also increase as long as I remain faithful to walk with God.

The graph below probably explains why we think the world is unfair when it actually is fair. The red line is how I view my life, and the gray line is whom I compare myself to. I wasn’t fortunate to be born in America and didn’t get a chance to go to a feeder school to get into the Ivy League for undergrad. I didn’t get a chance to even apply to the top industries that only recruit from Ivy League and top colleges. So I suppose my starting point is lower than my peers. But over time, I work harder than anyone else I know. In college, I can’t think of one other student at school who worked harder than me, both academically and professionally. If an assignment took an hour to get an A-, I worked two hours to get an A+. If one internship was enough to satisfy the school requirement, I did five to finally get a green card. My reward is not only the green card but also an Ivy League education. Yale is a dream coming true. It didn’t happen in the first year or second year after I came to America. It happened after 10+ years with many sacrifices, countless tears, and one obstacle after another along the way. But that’s why it’s fair. I worked hard, so now I’m enjoying the fruit of my labor. As I finished my first year at Yale, I’m beyond thankful for this blessing God has provided me. With that hope and gratefulness, I look forward to another great year ahead. When we look at the graph above, if we only look at the starting point, of course the world is unfair. But as we look at the whole picture, the world suddenly becomes fair. Whoever works harder will receive more. I don’t know if this is true for the whole world. I only know that this is true in my world where God is the judge. “For the Lord is our judge, the Lord is our lawgiver, the Lord is our king; it is he who will save us” (Isaiah 33:22). “So we make it our goal to please him, whether we are at home in the body or away from it. For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each of us may receive what is due us for the things done while in the body, whether good or bad” (2 Corinthians 5: 9-10).

When it comes to fairness in life, the law of cause and effect governs it all. The outcome in life is the sum of all consequences of our series of decisions. A successful man is the one considering the consequences prior to deliberately making the decisions. It’s also necessary to know thy self: I know what I want and how to get there. I’m willing to work hard, sacrifice for it, and do whatever it takes to get what I want. This is great advice, but this is also the worldly view. The godly view, I believe, is just like that plus one additional thing: know thy God. When my faith is strengthened, my relationship with God is also getting stronger. Then I can clearly listen to the Holy Spirit in me to follow God’s guidance. At that moment, I know what I want because God put that desire in my heart. When I reflect upon my life, God put one desire after another in my heart and open each door one by one for me: coming to the US, scholarship to college, green card, Yale, my American dream. “Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, ‘This is the way; walk in it’” (Isaiah 30:21).

If life is a choice, then happiness is also a choice. It’s necessary for us to understand the difference between happiness and joy. The moment we accept Jesus in our lives and start to walk with God, He guarantees us heavenly peace, joy, and strength from above. But He doesn’t necessarily guarantee happiness. Happiness, however, is still within our control to choose to accept or reject it despite how life treats us. When my second internship got cancelled, there was fear and anxiety in my mind as I looked ahead at the full-time recruiting process for next year during the projected upcoming recession. But God calmed me down and reminded me of all things He has done. Why should I worry? God has proven Himself to be trustworthy. He opens one door after another. He always provides. Why would it change this time? It wouldn’t because God never changes. I will be just fine. So instead of anxiety and fear, I replaced them with both personal and professional achievements during this quarantine period. Regarding my personal achievements, for starter, I lost 10 lbs. and still have 10 more to go this summer. I learn to know thy self as God has taught me many valuable lessons about myself. I love the important people in my life, but I didn’t know how to love them well and love them right until God showed me and taught me, as how Christ loves me. Regarding my professional achievements, I spent this time to connect with people in the industry to prepare for full-time recruiting. I also helped five classmates to get internships. My mentor once taught me that individually, we can move faster, but together we can move farther. These five classmates wouldn’t have had the internships if the pandemic had not happened. A threat can also be an opportunity. This experience reminded me of the story of Joseph. When he faced his brothers, who sold him into slavery, Joseph not only forgave them but also calmed them down, helped them, and glorified God’s name. “But Joseph said to them, ‘Don’t be afraid. Am I in the place of God? You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. So then, don’t be afraid. I will provide for you and your children. And he reassured them and spoke kindly to them” (Genesis 50: 19-21). Unlike Joseph, I didn’t save any lives. But I’m thankful that God used the pandemic that was meant to be harmful to give me an opportunity to serve Him by supporting my classmates with their careers. At the end, God’s name is glorified. Sometimes we forget how massive and powerful God is. He works not only on each of us individually but also all things together in the system as a whole. When He blesses me with my individual successes, He also uses me and my successes to help others. Like a chain reaction, His system works perfectly. God is the best engineer in the world. Through all of this, it’s been proven that God is still alive today. Miracles are still happening at the present, not just in the past in Bible time.

During this quarantine time, I also learn to appreciate each moment and enjoy life to the fullest. As I reflect upon the first year of my MBA experience at Yale, I have one regret. My biggest regret in business school that this pandemic has revealed to me is the fact that I didn’t enjoy my college experience to the fullest. I worried too much, and I focused too much on recruiting that I didn’t do what I intended to do at business school. I missed the fall dance for an unnecessary recruiting event. Spring dance was cancelled, so I suppose I have to wait till next year to attend the fall dance, if it’s still happening since we don’t know if school will be open in the fall.    

If life is a choice, then our career path is also a choice. From working for four years in private equity, I notice the difference between the aggressive path and the good path. The aggressive path is built upon greed whereas the good path is built upon God’s law and principles. Which path to choose affects not only our family, spouses, kids, but most importantly, it determines our characters. I remember when my COO retired, there was a line of people lining up to say goodbye. That day I counted, and we had at least one person in each department crying over his farewell. This godly man left a legacy behind as he chose the good path, the godly path and stayed away from the aggressive path, the greedy path. From this man, I learn to do good as I do well. That’s one of the main reasons I chose Yale comparing to other b-schools because I also believe in the mission to educate leaders for business and society. But you may ask, is this a correlation or causation? Is it a coincidence that this good man happens to be a Christian? I don’t think so. I don’t believe this is a coincidence. He’s a good man because he follows Christ. And that’s why this former COO of mine is also my role model. I aspire to be like him in my career. I want to follow God as He leads me on my career path. I want to glorify Him to do good as I also do well. “Then Jesus said to his disciples, ‘Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it. What good will it be for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul? Or what can anyone give in exchange for their soul? For the Son of Man is going to come in his Father’s glory with his angels, and then he will reward each person according to what they have done’” (Matthew 16: 24-27). As each of us carries our cross for Christ, we can encourage one another on this journey. We each need a Timothy behind us to mentor, a Peter alongside of us to encourage, and a Paul ahead of us to learn from. This former COO and my dad are the Paul in my life on my journey toward Christ. As they carry their own crosses, they help me and serve as role model for me to carry my cross.

Regarding how to choose the right career path, the world says to choose the most prestigious, the most glamorous, and the richest path. But then are you happy with this choice? To elevate this question, are you joyful and peaceful on this path? Well this is actually a trick question because joy and peace are internal. They come from Christ alone and are not affected by external factors caused by the environment around us. If we don’t have peace and joy, then something is wrong from the inside. Perhaps this job or this career disturb our internal relationship with God. If that’s the case, this job or career is not the disease but rather symptoms for a much worse internal disease: separation between us and God. I’m very blessed in a way that God has chosen my path thus far for me, and I plan to follow this same structure. Why fix something if it’s not broken? God leads, and I follow. It’s as simple as that. I look back at the past and am thankful for all He has done. With this hope, I look forward to another great year ahead knowing that God has everything under control. He’s not just the God of the universe; He’s also the God of my universe. He’s not just the judge of this world; He’s also the judge of my world. But the best part of all is that He is my heavenly father. Full of love, grace, mercy, hope, and forgiveness.     

Journey of a Disciple

Testimony

As I was watching the movie “Case for Christ,” so many memories came alive as if I was watching another movie in my head, the movie of how I myself came to Christ. The scene that touched my heart the deepest is the baptism scene because I remember when I got baptized, that was during the worst, the most hopeless, and the darkest time of my life. That was the time when I lost everything, including the family I loved and held so dearly in my heart. That was also the time when fear was the strongest, the fear of deportation. Nevertheless, I decided to get baptized at that moment because I thought if I got deported at that time, it would be a lot more difficult to get baptized in Vietnam, so let’s do that in America when I still had a chance. Little did I know that one single decision in the midst of all the chaos and fear completely changed my life. A few months after my baptism, I got a full scholarship to college, which saved my dreams. That was the first time I learned the power of prayer. Another extremely valuable lesson I learned from that experience is the procedure of how trials work and how our faith is constantly tested. Before the rainbow, the storm is always the scariest, and the rain is always the heaviest. It’s always been that way. But the good news is that the rainbow will come, the storm will calm down, and the rain will stop. Before Joseph got to the high court, he was mistreated, betrayed by his own family, and sold into slavery. Before Daniel glorified God’s name, he experienced exile as a prisoner of Babylon. The ultimate example of this is that before Christ resurrected and claimed his reward at the throne of heaven, he was crucified on the cross. So perhaps the more difficult it gets, the closer we are to our reward. Perhaps the severity of our trials reveals the magnificence of what’s waiting ahead of us: a reward from God. If that’s the case, when we face trials in life, perhaps we should do something so unconventional and irrational that the world will call us crazy: we should get excited, we should celebrate, for we have a certainty, a guaranteed hope that our reward is worth the price we have to pay.

When I was 15, I left everyone and everything behind in Vietnam, including my own family, to come to America. I came to this country with a dream: an Ivy League education, a dream toward Harvard. Little did I know, more than 10 years later, this dream finally came true. It’s not Harvard, that’s ok. It’s actually Yale instead. One month before I got the congratulation call from Yale, there was one trial after another. It felt as if the trials would never end. I almost got into a car accident on a typically rainy day in Florida. I couldn’t see anything outside the windshield, and it was quite a scary moment. Work got intense with new projects and colleagues. I kept failing my test no matter how hard I studied for the exam. Every single day was a struggle, full of anxiety and multiple negative what-if scenarios in my mind. Yet something is different this time. Through all of this, I felt hope. After going through many trials with God, I learn the secret. I know the drill. Before a big reward, the trials are always at their worst because that’s the price to pay. If the reward ahead of us is not that awesome, Satan wouldn’t be fighting this hard. So there’s a positive correlation between the two entities: the more difficult the trials, the better the reward. In this case, suffering is an assurance that the answer is a yes. From this experience, I finally understand what it means in Hebrews 11:6 “and without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.”

I wonder if this is how the disciples felt in the New Testament when they were in prison, mistreated, persecuted, crucified upside down, beheaded, sawed into two, stoned to death, and burned at the altar. As they faced these trials, were they also excited? If so, did they get excited because they focused solely on the reward ahead of them? After all, Christ guaranteed that this journey will be difficult. There’s a price to pay to accept and follow Christ. The price is always high, but the good news is that the reward is worth the price. The road of a disciple is always frustrating, scary, and sometimes lonely, full of obstacles because the path to the kingdom of God is so narrow whereas the path to hell is wide open. But the trophy is always worth it. God guarantees the reward is worth the price, so discipleship, after all, is a beautiful journey. “Be on your guard; you will be handed over to the local councils and be flogged in the synagogues” (Matthew 10:17). “You will be hated by everyone because of me, but the one who stands firm to the end will be saved. When you are persecuted in one place, flee to another. Truly I tell you, you will not finish going through the towns of Israel before the Son of Man comes” (Matthew 10:22-23). I personally really enjoy Matthew 10 because that chapter is a very transparent contract between God and us. If we accept the responsibility as His disciples, He makes it very clear that suffering is guaranteed. But He also makes certain that the reward is worth it at the end. So I’m proud to call myself a disciple of God. I’m honored to be called a Christ ambassador. And I’m humble for this opportunity to be used by God as His servant, for I so don’t deserve this. I know at least one person, the apostle Paul, agreed with me that as disciples, we should be excited for trials and that it’s a great honor to endure trials, to suffer for Christ. When Paul wrote to the Philippians, he confirmed to them this message. “For it has been granted to you on behalf of Christ not only to believe in him, but also to suffer for him, since you are going through the same struggle you saw I had, and now hear that I still have” (Philippians 1:29-30). Now I understand why every time I do something to serve God and glorify His name, from encouraging a fellow believer to publicly proclaiming His message, something bad always happens. In a way, this is fair. If there’s no price to pay, if following Christ requires no sacrifice, if working for God is so easy, how can we expect such a big reward at the end? If it were too easy, it wouldn’t be as much fun.

Being a disciple is amazing, rewarding, and fun. But that doesn’t shield us from temptation. The moment we accept Christ, we don’t automatically become immune to sin. I wish we did though. In the past eight years walking with God, I learn that the best strategy to handle any temptation is to run first, and if we absolutely can’t escape from it, then we fight and face this temptation, knowing and praying that God will equip us with His strength to stay righteous. As it’s our natural instinct to flee from danger, it should also be our spiritual instinct to flee from temptation, for temptation may lead to sin, and sin is a barrier between us and God. Just as we flee from temptation to protect our human relationship, we must also avoid temptation at all cost to protect our relationship with God. Even a slightest possibility of sin is not worth the risk of hurting our relationship with God. No good things on earth, no treasure, no pleasure is ever worth it.

When Jesus predicted his own death to the disciples, Peter was so certain that he would defend his master. We know how the story was unfold. Peter failed and denied Christ. From this story, I learn that our faith, no matter what level of discipleship we are at, is so fragile, so vulnerable, so easy to be broken. Thus, it’s so crucial that we constantly guard our faith. It’s so crucial that instead of trying to resist or fight temptation directly, we should first attempt to escape from it. And if we can’t, then we fight because God knows that we’re strong enough to fight this particular temptation. “So if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don’t fall! No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it” (1 Corinthians 10:12-13).

If you’re reading this article, I encourage you to focus on the reward at the end of the journey and get excited for every trial you’re suffering through. I encourage you to flee temptation at all cost, and if you absolutely can’t escape from it, have hope that God knows you can stand firm and that He will equip you with His strength to fight against this temptation. I encourage you to accept the job of a disciple if God has called you to take on this responsibility. The price to pay is high, but I can guarantee you that the reward is worth it because this is God’s promise to us. Finally, I encourage you to consider baptism if you have not already done so. It’s an honor, a privilege, and a blessing to be able to publicly proclaim your faith. It has completely changed my life, and I’m sure it will also change yours. That one particular decision to get baptized during the worst time of my life led me to become the disciple that I am today. Looking back, there were so many things and people I have lost, but I don’t regret it at all. If I could go back in time, I would still choose to get baptized. I would still choose to be a disciple of God. I would still choose to accept and follow Christ, despite all the costs. It’s been a beautiful, fulfilling journey to be His disciple, and I look forward to many more challenging, yet exciting years to come. So I also encourage you to take on this journey with me to be God’s disciple.

Perfect Love + Stronger Faith + No More Fear

Growth

At one of the Bible studies, somebody raised a very good question: how do we trust God like what church and the Bible teach us while at the same time, the culture in the world we live in constantly encourages us to plan ahead? I personally don’t see any conflict between these two, and I truly believe that we should plan out our lives. To trust God doesn’t mean not to plan out anything, but it means to continue to love Him, serve Him, and not get angry at Him when things don’t go according to our plan. Without a plan, how can we achieve our dreams? Without dreams, how can we live out life to the fullest? It’s not only O.K but also good to dream, to chase after our dreams, and to plan it out ahead of time to touch the sky. God wouldn’t want us to live a life with no purpose, no direction, and no goal. If our plan matches His plan, things will go smoothly with peace in our heart. But if our plan doesn’t match His, sometimes He let the plan come through anyway to teach us to trust Him and understand that His way is better. Sometimes, it just won’t even happen at all because He’s trying to protect us from the harm ahead that we can’t see with our human eyes. Trust, just like love, needs to be taught through experience, not theological teachings. It’s like building blocks, one stone at a time, and each time we’re getting stronger and stronger in our faith and trust in God after each experience, each trial, each stone. I truly believe with all my heart that if it’s God’s will, if He promises me something, as long as I do my part, He will do His part.

The Bible is full of examples of how God fulfill His promises. When man does their part, God will do His. When man doesn’t do their part, God still remains faithful with His promises, but there will be consequences. God promised David, through Samuel, to be king over Israel. David did his part by going after God’s own heart, facing Goliath with no fear, and having mercy toward Saul. So God honored His promise to give him popularity among the people, strength to kill Goliath, victories in battles, and eventually kingship in Israel. The difference between David becoming king and the stereotype of climbing the ladder in corporate world is that when it’s God’s plan, He delivered kingship into David’s hands versus when it’s man’s plan, they do whatever it takes to get to the throne despite all of the people getting hurt in the process. One success is God-made, the other is man-made. One is God’s plan, the other is man’s plan. David didn’t become king because he killed Saul to climb to the throne. He had mercy on Saul to let him go, but Saul took his own life in battle, so the people of Israel urged David to be their king. Because it is God’s promise for David to be king and David did his part to honor God to live in righteousness, God remained faithful to deliver the throne into David’s hands through the circumstances around him. David couldn’t control Saul to die in battle; he couldn’t make the Israelites anoint him to be king. He only focused on his relationship with God, so God planned the situation around him to bring him to the throne of Israel. Through all of this, one battle at a time, David experienced his trust and love for God as well as God’s faithfulness and love for him, so his faith has grown throughout the process.

Another example in the Old Testament is Moses (I’m particularly thankful for the opportunity to see the live theater story of Moses in Branson MO, what a good way to end my green card celebration!). God promised Moses through the burning bush that He would use Moses to deliver Israel from slavery. Moses did his part by facing Pharaoh with no fear, working with Aaron, and getting out of his comfort zone to speak up in front of the Jews. But there were a lot of things Moses couldn’t control, so God did His part to send down the ten plagues, part the sea, provide manna from heaven, and lead them through the desert. Again this is how we know it’s God’s plan: it’s His timing, everything works together, and the circumstances around just fit perfectly into the promise He has made and fulfilled.

God’s promises and fulfillment don’t stop in the Old Testament. Fast forward to the New Testament, God promised Peter to make him the fisher of man. Peter had to do his part to travel to different countries, preach the gospel, pray without ceasing, love others, and face death with no fear. So God honored that and did His part to protect him on the mission, guide his steps, send out the Holy Spirit, break the jail cell, and move people’s hearts to accept the gospel. Through all of this, I bet Peter’s trust and love for God also grew, just like David’s and Moses’. Again trust and love have to be taught through experience. Once we experience first hand God’s faithfulness and love for us personally, we can’t help it but to trust and love Him back because that perfect, unconditional love just outflows in our heart.

My faith may not be as strong as David’s, Moses’, and Peter’s, but God has graciously given me the opportunity to personally experience His faithfulness and unconditional love to draw me closer to Him, to help me understand Him more and know Him better. He gave me the promises of the scholarship and green card, through my dad. There were so many trials during the process, including the sins of my own, but God has remained faithful through all of it to deliver the scholarship and green card into my hands when the time was right. I did my part, and He did His. But even better, not only He did His part, He also helped me to do my part with the Holy Spirit in me. “I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength” (Philippians 4: 12-13). Through all of this, I learn to trust and love God more; my faith gets stronger after each trial and each fulfilled promise. I made my plans; sometimes they came true, and sometimes they didn’t. But I’m so thankful that my goals match God’s vision for my life, so at the end, all of the pieces fall into place and we both reached the goals. I don’t know His master plan for my life and what is ahead of me, but I’m so excited to continue this journey with Him. Sometimes I look back at the past but not to condemn myself of my own sins and mistakes. I look back at who I was to be thankful for who I am today. I remember what I did to be thankful for His forgiveness and faithfulness throughout the process. I think about what we’ve gone through together to be thankful for what we have today, not just the scholarship and the green card, but more importantly I’m thankful for the kind of relationship we have today, for the love that we have for one another though His love is much bigger than mine. So we shouldn’t turn around to condemn ourselves of the past, but we should look back at who we were to be thankful for who we are today. Then we will have the heavenly peace and joy to live out the present and enjoy the journey with no more fear. At that point, we have confidence to face the future because our hope is grounded in Christ so that we can live our life to the fullest. “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid” (John 14:27).

“There is no fear in love. But perfect love casts out fear because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. We love because he first loved us” (1 John 4: 18-19). When Jesus conquered death, He took away the biggest fear of all disciples: the fear of death. There they were made perfect in love because they no longer lived in fear. Instead they lived out their livest to the fullest as they spread the gospel; they loved and served God first as they loved and served each other and those around them. They did their part to keep Jesus’ commands for them: “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another” (John 13: 34-35). As they did their part, God dis His part to provide everything they need, not only earthly things but also heavenly wisdom, boldness, and compassion to do His will. “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own” (Matthew 6: 33-34). “But when they arrest you, do not worry about what to say or how to say it. At that time you will be given what to say, for it will not be you speaking, but the Spirit of your Father speaking through you” (Matthew 10: 19-20). We can’t fully know God until we get in heaven to see His full glory, but when we’re on this earth, we can still be made perfect in love to live our life without fear.

As I continue to plan and prepare for Harvard, I will continue to do my part and trust that God will do His part. If Harvard never comes true, I’m O.K with it. I’m not angry at Him because I’m already so thankful for what I have, for what He has delivered into my hands, for what He has graciously given me. Harvard is just icing on the cake; I already tasted how delicious the cake is, so anything above that is just additional. It’s what I want, not what I need. God is what and who I need. And I’m so thankful that I have Him already. Just like how God took away the biggest fear of the disciples, the fear of death, He also took away my biggest fear, the fear of deportation. Because of this, I no longer live in free; I’m free from fear. So now I have the peace and joy to cherish every moment of the journey in the present with courage, hope, and excitement to face the future ahead of me. Now I can finally live my life to the fullest and chase after my dreams. Before I was simply walking, now I’m running, and hopefully in three years, I’ll be able to fly toward my dreams. But I didn’t do it alone nor will I ever have to do it alone because God’s been there through every single step and He will continue to be there with me. I learned that when I run before Him, I typically, if not always, fall because I can’t see the speed bumps ahead of me. So this time I don’t want to run before Him anymore. I want to walk behind Him so that He’ll protect me; I want to walk side by side with Him so that He’ll hold my hands. That’s how I know if something is God’s will in my life or not. He will protect and guide me through the process if I do it with Him. But if I run ahead of Him or go my own way and do my own things, I’ll stumble and fall, and it hurts! When everything falls into place, that’s evidence the destination is God’s plan. Before the green card came into reality, there were many proofs: internship at a good company with connection to local business leaders; sponsorship from the employer (this one is quite obvious!); all of the people around me (my co-worker, the girl at Bible study, the Uber driver in LA) all got the green card throughout my immigration process. Using the same logic, as I’m planning and preparing for Harvard, I also see several pieces fall into place and there are evidences throughout the process: Northwestern, PE job title, scholarship fund, etc.

But this time will be different. Last time as we fought the immigration battle together for the scholarship and the green card, I did that out of fear and I lived in that fear everyday. This time as I’m preparing for Harvard, I’m doing it out of love because my faith now is much stronger than before, because I trust God more and know Him better, because I have learned and grown so much in Scripture, because now I know what it means to be a disciple instead of a mere Christian. Tears of despair and hopelessness of the past will be replaced with tears of thankfulness and overwhelming grace and love this time. Fear of the past will be trembled with joy and excitement this time. No more fear! No more living in fear! This time and from now on only living in love, the perfect unconditional love of Christ! This time will be different: I will enjoy and cherish every single moment on this journey as we walk toward Harvard together with perfect love, stronger faith, and no more fear. I will run after my dreams and live my life to the fullest! Living my life to the fullest doesn’t mean YOLO like what the world says. Instead right now as I’m living my life to the fullest, I’m living out the Scripture I’ve learned from the Bible. I keep God’s word in my heart so that I can truly experience it everyday on my walk with Him. So far I’m very thankful for the experiences I have had and the lessons I have learned from these verses. But it doesn’t end there; I’m still trying, learning, and doing my best to live them out everyday.

  • Daniel 3 God is the Lord Most High with His sovereignty over all man and all things on earth. No Nebuchadnezzar, no tyrant, no political figure is too big for Him. No one can touch me if God protects me. No one can alter His plan in my life as long as I remain faithful to Him and obey Him to do my part. I choose to honor Him regardless of all circumstances around me.
  • John 8: 1-11 the story of the adulterous woman
  • Psalm 56: 3-4 “When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. In God whose word I praise – in God I trust and am not afraid. What can mere mortals do to me?”
  • John 13: 34-35 “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”
  • Philippians 4: 12-13 “I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.”
  • 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7 “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others; it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preservers.”
  • 1 John 4: 18 “There is no fear in love. But perfect love casts out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.”
  • 1 Samuel 17:37 “The Lord who rescued me from the paw of the lion and the paw of the bear will rescue me from the hand of this Philistine.”
  • Hebrews 11:1 “Faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.”
  • 1 Corinthians 6: 19-20 “Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.”
  • 1 John 1:9 “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”
  • Psalm 32:8 “I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my loving eye on you.”
  • Psalm 119: 11 “I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you.”
  • Psalm 139: 23-24 “Search me God and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting” (I don’t pray this prayer a lot, but whenever I do, God always answers this prayer very quickly,  typically within 24 hours!).
  • Romans 10: 9-10 “If you declare with your mouth, ‘Jesus is Lord,’ and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with you heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved.”

Process Flow

Growth

Recently at work, we’ve been talking a lot about building the infrastructure for our business intelligence and analytics platform. The work is complicated, but once it’s broken down into a process flow, everything seems much more clear and easy to handle. That links me to start thinking about my own personal process flow of how I came to the decision to become a disciple of God.

When God didn’t answer my prayer to let me win the visa lottery, anger started to come into my heart. In front of everyone, I would act like everything was fine and told people that I trusted God with His plan. Even though my mind constantly repeated that, my heart didn’t believe it because my heart was full of anger. My heart was also full of doubt because I didn’t understand why God wouldn’t give me what I asked for. When anger took a hold of my heart, temptation started to come into my mind. At that time during my moment of weakness under anger and doubt, I was not on guard of my faith, so I let the temptation of the flesh to come into my mind. After this temptation grew, it completed its mission when I sinned against the Lord. This is how sneaky Satan works. He constantly watches us and patiently waits for the moment our faith is unguarded and weakened. Then once we let our guard down, even if it’s only for a moment, Satan grabs the opportunity and put the temptation in our mind to lead us toward sin. That’s why we have to constantly guard our faith because sin starts with the thought, then grows with the deed to set everything in motion, and finally completes its work in action. “When tempted, no one should say, ‘God is tempting me.’ For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death” (James 1: 13-15). This is the process of flow that Scripture explains to us. But God doesn’t stop there; He also warns us to be careful with the anger in our heart to not give in to sin. “In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold” (Ephesians 4: 26-27).

After Satan leads us to sin, if we yield to him and commit that sin, he then will turn it around and accuse us of the sin he whispers in our ears to commit to. The whole process of blaming and accusation starts here. Then in our mind, we will finally realize the reality of what we have done; we will have to face the consequences of the decision we made to sin. That reality check will lead to fear, shame, guilt, regret, pain, and despair in our heart. If we don’t have Christ in our lives, the story ends here. And we forever will live in the fear, shame, guilt, regret, pain, and despair that we put ourselves into.

But for those of us that have Jesus in our lives, things start to change here and take another turn. God’s unconditional love through the forgiveness of sin will wash away all of the ugliness of our sin in our heart. Because of the blood of Christ, we are now holy and blameless in God’s eyes. We no longer have to live in our own fear, shame, guilt, regret, pain, and despair. Instead we know with complete confidence that we are forgiven by God, and no one, not even Satan, can ever hold us accountable or accuse us of that sin anymore because the Most High God has the final say, and He chooses to forgive us of our sin. At that time, this confidence in our identity in Christ takes root in our mind to give us boldness, courage, and completion to live out our faith. We don’t look back at who we were or the sin we committed to condemn ourselves. We think about the person we once were to be thankful for the person we are today in Christ. “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ. For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will – to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves. In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace that he lavished on us. With all wisdom and understanding, he made known to us the mystery of his will according to his good pleasure, which he purposed in Christ, to be put into effect when the times reach their fulfillment – to bring unity to all things in heaven and on earth under Christ” (Ephesians 1: 3-10). The moment we fully realize our identity in Christ with all our mind and truly believe it with all our heart, we will have the desire to make a conscious decision to live this out and walk with Him everyday. At that point, we no longer live in fear because this perfect love of Christ drives away all our fear. We will want to be the hands and feet of Jesus, to become his disciple: servant of God. When I reached this point of my life, on October 22, 2016, I made a decision to intentionally serve God and walk with Him each and every single day – “God I accept the responsibility to be your disciple. I choose to love you, honor you, praise you, and walk with you everyday. To act justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with you for the rest of my life and for all eternity.”

Now looking back, I realize God’s tier of grace and mercy on me. First He is merciful enough to forgive me for my sin. Then He is gracious enough to love me anyway after what I have done. But it doesn’t stop there; He takes grace and mercy to the next level. What I cannot explain is how and why He still trusts me and uses me to serve Him and the people that He loves. I don’t deserve His forgiveness or His love. And I definitely don’t deserve His trust even more. I don’t even deserve to be called His servant. Yet not only He uses me as His servant, He calls me His child and loves me unconditionally. This kind of love, this kind of trust, I will never understand. But I’m so glad He give me this love and this trust because without it, I can’t go on with my life with boldness and confidence in Christ. I hope that means I will never sin again, but I know that’s not the case. I will continue to sin, to make mistakes, to mess up my life, but I refuse to live in sin like I was. And I have confidence that when I do sin, Christ will still be there, as He has always done and will forever continue to do, to forgive me and love me back to where God wants me to be. But that doesn’t mean I get a free pass to sin. I should never take His forgiveness for granted. Rather I use it as an assurance of His love for me to live out my life boldly and courageously in Christ. “What shall we say then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? By no means! We are those who have died to sin; how can we live in it any longer? Or don’t you know that all of us who were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life. For if we have been united with him in a death like his, we will certainly also be united with him in a resurrection like his. For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body ruled by sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be salves to sin – because anyone who has died has been set free from sin” (Romans 6: 1-7).

To God Be The Glory

Testimony

Recently at a Bible study, someone shared the struggles he’s facing and mentioned the upcoming test he has to face. I asked if he knows how to pass the small quizzes because before each test, there will be small quizzes. This is something I learn from experience and talking to my dad helps to clarify the lesson. The first test I took was the loss of my mom; this was the test of pain and I learned God’s power through the trial. The second test I took was my own sin; this was the test of shame and I learned God’s unconditional love through the forgiveness of sin. The first one was more painful, but the second one was more difficult because when shame got mixed with fear, guilt, and regret, there was no word to describe how awful it felt at that moment. At the lowest point of my life, when I had nowhere else to run, when shame overwhelmed my mind, when guilt put a chain around my heart, when I was in deep despair and fear, God reached out to me. He told me that He forgave me and loved me regardless. That love brought me back home! God is the ultimate source of love. “Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love” (1 John 4: 7-8).

The experience gained from these two tests taught me two lessons: 1) We need to CONSTANTLY GUARD OUR FAITH 2) Before the big test comes, there will be small quizzes along the way to help us learn the materials, equip us with the knowledge needed, and prepare us for the big moment when the test comes. We can’t predict when the test will come, what we will be tested on, and what price we have to pay to get to the next level of faith and understanding of God. Though we can’t predict, we can still prepare. I learn the secrets to prepare for the test: to remain humble with a servant heart and to set my priorities straight with God on top of the list. For example, now that I have the green card in my hands, do I boast about myself and the great work I have done to get myself to where I am today? Do I boast about my own strength, determination, and intelligence? No I dare not. Instead I boast about God, the one who delivered this gift into my hands, the one who fought this battle for me and with me. I’m nothing but a servant of His; only the master deserves the glory, not me. This is the opportunity for pride to come in and take my focus off God. When I’m standing on the top of the mountain, it’s easy to look around at the beautiful scenes and look inside to praise me. But I must not forget to always look upward to glorify and thank God. I can’t let my pride overshadow my faith. So after the green card came, I made two to-do lists, one for me and one for God, and these are the observations I see a couple days later:

My List:

  • I see the green card as the victory of the battle
  • I see my future with Northwestern and Harvard
  • I chase after my American dream
  • My list includes little things like getting a new driver license (only immigrants will get this one), buying new sneakers
  • My list uses me as the center
  • I want to run as fast as I can toward all my dreams that were put on hold during this process

His List:

  • He sees spiritual growth as the important matter of faith
  • He sees His master plan for my life, something I honestly know not of
  • He looks at my heart and wants me to have a humble servant heart
  • His list includes heavy to-dos like reconciling with relatives to resolve problems in the past
  • His list revolves around Him
  • He wants me to glorify Him by loving and serving others as I love and serve Him first

So these observations help to put me on my toes to constantly guard my faith and make sure I set my priorities right. For instance, if after the green card, I spend more time studying the GRE than the Bible, that means I put Harvard above God. Typically, when that happens, I will be distracted and loosen up my faith. I learn that when we are weak and distracted from God, Satan will grab that opportunity (he’s constantly watching us) to start his schemes of attacks. When that happens, if we’re not ready and the test comes (or even the small quiz), we will fail. I almost failed my second test when I came so close to choose living in sin over God, so I don’t ever want to be unprepared for the test again. And I’m not going to let my pride lead me into destruction again. Therefore, I will put God first. I will boast Him on the mountains and in the valleys. Right now I’m standing on the top of the mountain, so I boast God and give Him all of the credit.

The Bible is very clear about the consequences of pride. “But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says: ‘God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble'” (James 4:6). The story of Nebuchadnezzar in the Old Testament should make a good warning for us about pride.

“Twelve months later, as the king was walking on the roof of the royal palace of Babylon, he said, ‘Is not this the great Babylon I have built as the royal residence, by my mighty power and for the glory of my majesty?’ Even as the words were on his lips, a voice came from heaven, ‘This is what is decreed for you, King Nebuchadnezzar: Your royal authority has been taken from you. You will be driven away from people and will live with the wild animals; you will eat grass like the ox. Seven times will pass by for you until you acknowledge that the Most High is sovereign over all kingdoms on earth and gives them to anyone he wishes.’ Immediately what had been said about Nebuchadnezzar was fulfilled. He was driven away from people and ate grass like the ox. His body was drenched with the dew of heaven until his hair grew like the feathers of an eagle and his nails like the claws of a bird” (Daniel 4: 28-33). This is the consequence of pride.

“At the end of that time, I, Nebuchadnezzar, raised my eyes toward heaven, and my sanity was restore. Then I praised the Most High; I honored and glorified him who lives forever. His dominion is an eternal dominion; his kingdom endures from generation to generation. All the peoples of the earth are regarded as nothing. He does as he pleases with the powers of heaven and the peoples of the earth. No one can hold back his hand or say to him: ‘What have you done?’ At the same time that my sanity was restore, my honor and splendor were returned to me for the glory of my kingdom. My advisers and nobles sought me out, and I was restored on my throne and became even greater than before. Now I , Nebuchadnezzar, praise and exalt and glorify the King of heaven, because everything he does is right and all his ways are just. And those who walk in pride he is able to humble” (Daniel 4: 34-37). This is the reward for humility.

As Scripture has said God is sovereign over all things, on earth and in heaven. And he clearly personally demonstrated His sovereignty over my life during this immigration process. The world said it would take 6-8 months for the PERM, God did it in 2 months. The world said it would take 15 days for the employer approval; God did it in less than a week. The world said it would take 2 months for the fingerprint, God did it in 10 days.  The world said the last step would take 6-12 months; God did it in 4 months. The world said it would take 3 weeks to mail the actual green card, God did it in 4 days. So if I do the math right, the world was wrong every time because God has always been in control since the beginning and throughout the entire process. I was well protected under His sovereign hands. Even better not only that He took care of all of the big steps with immigration, He cared enough to give me the little gifts that warmed my heart; so many surprises that I didn’t even ask for. About two months before the green card came, God gave me the opportunity to visit NYC and take photos in front of the Statue of Liberty. I have waited 9 years in America to take these photos since NYC and the Statue of Liberty represented America for me when I was in Vietnam; something I could only see from afar but could never touch. But of course with God’s help, things changed! Then he brought me back to Saint Louis, where our journey began, where we met for the very first time: first time at church, first time going on church retreat, first time hanging out with Christians, first time hearing about Jesus, etc. So many memories….

Throughout this immigration process, there were many times I was so scared, but I lifted my eyes up to heaven to constantly remind myself the Lord is the King of heavens and earth; His sovereignty rules over all; no man, no authority, no power on earth can compare to Him or change His plans in my life. When I am weak, He is strong for me. “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong” (2 Corinthians 12: 9-10). After the green card came, I had so many celebrations with many great people, and next week we will have a big party to celebrate with the people that were there with me at different stages of the process. Some saw it since the beginning (my dad), some only saw the finish line. But I’m thankful for all of these amazing brothers and sisters in Christ that God has put in my life. I learn that as we pursue our dreams, we can’t fly solo; we need one another for help, encouragement, and guidance. Each person needs a Paul to seek wisdom and guidance, a Luke for companionship side by side, and a Timothy to encourage and mentor. I’m thankful that I have all three in my life. And of course I thank my God and boast Him for it. To God be the glory!

Hills and Valleys

Inspiration

By Tauren Wells

I’ve walked among the shadows. You wiped my tears away. And I’ve felt the pain of heartbreak. And I’ve seen the brighter days. And I’ve prayed prayers to heaven from my lowest place. And I have held your blessings.

God you give and take away. No matter what I am, your grace is enough. No matter where I am, I’m standing in your love.

On the mountains I will bow my life to the One who set me there. In the valleys I will lift my eyes to the One who sees me there. When I’m standing on the mountain, I didn’t get there on my own. When I’m walking through the valley, I know I am not alone. You’re the God of the hills and valleys, hills and valleys. God of the hills and valleys. And I am not alone.

I’ve watched my dreams get broken. In you I hope again. No matter what, I know I’m safe inside your hand.

On the mountains I will bow my life to the One who set me there. In the valleys I will lift my eyes to the One who sees me there. When I’m standing on the mountain, I didn’t get there on my own. When I’m walking through the valley, I know I am not alone. You’re the God of the hills and valleys, hills and valleys. God of the hills and valleys. And I am not alone.

Father you give and take away. Every joy and every pain. Through it all, you will remain over it all.

On the mountains I will bow my life. In the valleys I will lift my eyes.

On the mountains I will bow my life to the One who set me there. In the valleys I will lift my eyes to the One who sees me there. When I’m standing on the mountain, I didn’t get there on my own. When I’m walking through the valley, I know I am not alone. You’re the God of the hills and valleys, hills and valleys. God of the hills and valleys. And I am not alone.

And I will choose to say blessed be your name, and I am not alone.

Disciple = Servant

Testimony

Many people refuse to believe in God because of the immoral things Christians do: war on religion, men killing other men in the name of God, priests’ sexual abuse on children, bribery inside the church, etc. All of those are horrible, ugly things, but it seems like the world is confused between God and man, religion and discipleship. God didn’t steal the money from the collection; man did. God didn’t hurt the little kids, man did. God didn’t use one man to slaughter another for the fun of it, man did. So that’s the difference between God and man. God is loving, merciful, patient, kind, forgiving, just, fair, righteous, holy, perfect. Man is sinful, envious, deceitful, and evil in the heart. But not all man are like that, at least not in today’s world. There’s a group of man that’s completely different from everybody else. When the world seeks its own gain and selfish interest, this group put other people above themselves. When the world uses one man to compete against another out of jealousy, this group has patience toward others. When the world promotes kingship, pride, and power, this group just wants to be servants. When the world hates one another, this group loves each other. This group of man is called disciples or followers. But who are they following? Jesus.

Christianity is a religion, so a Christian is simply a person who follows the religion of Christianity. A disciple, however, is held accountable at a higher standard. A disciple is the one following Jesus, God Himself, not a religion made up by man. When Jesus taught His disciples, He didn’t say go and make Christians; he told them to go make disciples. A disciple is the one who follows what Jesus taught, not what the church teaches. A disciple is the one who does what Jesus did, not what religion promotes. Many can be Christians, but only a few are disciples. In October 2016, I made a decision to become a disciple. Until this day, I have kept that promise, and I will continue to keep that commitment with God.

God I acccept the responsibility to be your disciple. I choose to love you, honor you, praise you, and walk with you everyday. To act justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with you for the rest of my life and for all eternity.

Among all of the people I know, the person that fits the description of a disciple the most is my dad. He has a phone ministry where he literally talks to people on the phone for hours to counsel them and ultimately always bring them to God. One thing that amazes me the most and I honestly don’t know how he does it is how he has the patience to deal with people. Let’s take me for example. We talk for hours, I think our record is 5 hours straight non-stop but I’m not sure since we already have so many conversations. When we talk, we literally talk for hours on the phone. When our conversation is less than an hour, that’s unusual for us. But I’m such a spoiled brat, both to my dad and also to God. I don’t always take his advice the first time, but eventually typically I will. But he always patiently talks to me and LISTEN to me, now this part takes patience! And I don’t know how he does it. How can he love somebody that much to have that kind of patience on them? That I still don’t get.

As a blessed child and also a spoiled brat, I’m always on the receiving end of this ministry. Until recently, God gave me an opportunity to be on the giving end of the ministry. I think I did ok and probably passed this small quiz. But now having the experience on the giving end makes me realize how impatient I am. Well I certainly hope that this is something that will come naturally through practice. Otherwise there’s no hope for me, at least not by default. But another thing that I don’t get is how God loves me. I’m nothing but a spoiled brat, but because I’m His spoiled brat, He loves me unconditionally. Why would He love such a kid like me? I constantly complaint; I’m ungrateful. I make stupid decisions. I’m impatient and easily angered, especially when I don’t understand why certain things happen and what’s happening next. So how can He love me? How can He love somebody like me? And even better how can He trust somebody like me? How can He continue to use me to do His work by serving others? That I don’t know. But I’m certain of one thing: I’m glad He did and I hope He will continue to use me to serve others as I’m serving Him. All I want is to be a servant. And that’s how I understand what a disciple means: a servant.

When Matthew wrote down the teachings of Jesus, he probably didn’t have a clue of what would happen next. How could he? How could he know that his writings would turn out to be one of the four gospels, the most reliable and accurate recordings of teachings of Jesus on earth? He couldn’t, so he probably didn’t know. But his faith was strong enough that he wrote it down anyway. As he was listening, he was probably thinking “I don’t know what he means by this story, but let me just write it down anyway then we’ll figure it out later.” Matthew just wanted to be a disciple. So do I. As I’m writing this blog, I don’t know why, but for every article, I feel led by the Holy Spirit to write down these words. I don’t always understand everything, but I guess let me write it down now and we’ll figure it out later. It’s exciting to work for God. It’s such an honor to be His disciple, His servant! But the fate of a disciple is not pretty though, and Matthew 10 paints a very vivid picture of it. But I’m not afraid. I’m excited! I know God has a big plan for me. I don’t know what it is, but I’m excited for it. I just want to follow Jesus, be his disciple, and be a servant of God. What His plan is, I don’t know. But I’m excited as I go through one assignment at a time. And the best part about all these assignments is that we go through them together. What a great master! He doesn’t just tell me what to do and leave me alone to figure it out. He tells me what to do, guides me through the process, and does it with me. What a great Father! And the most beautiful thing of all is that the whole discipleship and servanthood are based upon love. “A new commandment I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another” (John 13: 34-35). What a love!

My prayer is that God will continue to guide my spirit to write down His words and use my heart to do His work. I want His heart to be on my lips and my hands. I want to be a faithful disciple, a good servant.

As I’m writing this article, I’m sitting at a desk in Saint Louis, MO. This city has a very special meaning in my heart. This is the first time I came to America. This is where I started my American dream toward Harvard. I left everything and everybody behind, packed my bags, hopped on a plane, and crossed the ocean for this dream. And Saint Louis is where I started the journey toward my dream. But it doesn’t stop here. This place has even more meanings than my dream and my journey to America. This is the first time I met God. I’m sure that He already knew me even before I was born, but here is where I first knew of Him. This is where I met Him for the first time. It’s my first time going to church, first time going to Sunday school, first time experiencing a church retreat (where I met Him for the first time through the love of His disciples), first time knowing the name of Jesus and what it means, first time opening and reading the Bible (before that I didn’t even know what a Bible looks like), first time hearing so many words I didn’t understand: salvation, sin, Christ/Messiah, forgiveness, unconditional love, etc. My journey of faith didn’t start till I moved to Wisconsin when my mom passed away, but Saint Louis is like a baby step to prepare me for the building of the foundation of faith later in Green Bay. Coming back to this city this weekend for a wedding is like a confirmation from God to reflect on the journey of how we started our relationship, how we met for the very first time, and what changes He has made in my life (for that I’m grateful for all eternity). The closer I get to God, the more I realize what a spoiled brat I am and how much I don’t deserve Him. Yet at the same time, the more confidence I have in my identity in Christ and the stronger my faith gets. That doesn’t make any sense, or maybe it does but I just don’t get it. Either way it’s such a wonderful thing to be with God and to walk with Him everyday. Now writing this article in this city marks a full circle of our relationship. It doesn’t end here. It’s just exciting to walk through the rest of life with Him.

Quality of Love – Prodigal Son

Love

Lately a friend of mine raised a very good question for me that I didn’t quite know how to answer (till I talked to my dad of course): how do we bring back a prodigal son? In this case, that can also be a prodigal daughter, sister, brother, cousin, friend, etc. If somebody grew up on a Christian foundation in a godly home and turned away from God, how do we win them back? What can we say to them to turn them away from the dark side? Some may have more severe situations than others: drug, sex, abortion, prostitution vs. workaholics, love of money, atheism. It seems like if we say the wrong thing, it will push them away even more; the basic concept of reverse psychology I suppose. The more we pull, the more we push them further and further from the truth. But at the same time, we can’t just do nothing and let them fail. Do we simply wait for them to hit rock bottom and then come in with our message?

Well if you see somebody getting closer to a cliff, will you warn them to take a step back or just let them fall off the cliff? If you see a soul parked at the gate of hell and only one step away from it, will you bring them back to the light or just let their soul suffer for all eternity while enjoying your salvation? At this point, I think it’s clear that we have to, not that we should but have to, do something. What should we do? And even if we want to, can we really make a difference? Will it work? They won’t listen, so what else can we say? How much more and what more can we do?

When we start asking these questions, our heart is in the right place because we sincerely want to help them. But unfortunately, we ask the wrong questions. We can’t say anything in situation like this but we can do something about it. In other words, we can’t preach them back to the truth but we can love them back to the light. Don’t judge them on where they’re at but love them back to where they should be. Can’t preach them back, can’t scare them back, can’t present logic and evidence to win them back, can’t talk the senses to lure them back, can’t bribe them back, can’t promise them something to turn them back. But we can always love them back. That’s the power of true love; that’s the power of God’s love in us and through us. This love is the force behind Jesus coming down from heaven to save us. This love is the core of our salvation and hence the foundation of our faith. If this love is so big that it can defeat death and give us eternal life in the kingdom of God, then what else can stand before this kind of love? What limit does it have? What earthly force can say no and not bow down to this kind of love? Nothing, no force, no limit.

So the first step we should do to a prodigal son in our life is not preaching to them but simply loving them through all of this. Don’t meet up to tell them what a loser they are or what a mess they make. Meet up to get dinner, go to a movie, order pizza, share a cookie, joke around, go fishing, go bowling, play basketball, play soccer, dress up, wear makeup, watch YouTube videos, etc. The cookie and the soccer ball will open the door to the pain behind their decision to walk away. Then when that door is open, your prodigal son, you, and God all together can get to the bottom of the pain and fix the core of the problem. People don’t just sell their bodies for money for fun; no child dreams about becoming a thief. There’s a reason behind that decision to walk away. Most of the times, it involves a pain that’s too big to describe and too much to bear. Without knowing what that pain is, there’s nothing we can say to win them back. Without them opening their heart, there’s nothing we can do to turn them away from hell. But we have the power that Satan doesn’t have: the power of love. This is the unconditional, powerful, magnificent, pure, beautiful, overwhelming love through the Holy Spirit in Christ from the Heavenly Father. This sincere love can unlock any door to the bottom of the heart where pain resides and rules over. Then this same powerful love, once touches the heart, can break the pain with hope and faith that no demon can attack. It creates a shield of protection that Satan can’t even touch. It speaks the truth that no lie can withstand. And all of that starts not with great preaching, not with multiple Bible verses reciting, not with knowledge pouring out. That love starts with a small simple action of bonding, a cookie, a soccer ball. It starts with a simple question above all spiritual knowledge “hey do you want to hangout?” Becasuse that question means “I love you,” “I don’t care what everyone else says, you’re still my brother/sister/cousin/daughter/son,” “I care for you enough to make time for you,” “I put you above my schedule and other things in my life,” “I miss you and want to see you,” “you are a priority for me that I want to see you face to face.” The prodigal son doesn’t need anyone else to judge them, they already judge themselves inside, whether they admit it to the outside world or not. What they need is somebody to love them so that they can see and experience first hand, not hear about it, the love of God from this person who loves them regardless.

The salvation message can’t be preached without a strong foundation of understanding. Without the Old Testament, how can we possibly understand the preparation for the New Testament? Without the law, the history, and the prophets, how can we understand the unconditional love through the forgiveness of sin? Without acknowledging our past of what a wretched sinner we are, how can we fully accept the perfect Christ? The worst sinner of all can turn out to be the most faithful servant among all. Look at Paul, what a great example! So again don’t judge them on where they’re at but love them back to where they should be. God may do something extraordinary from this experience to turn an ugly past into a bright future of breakthroughs to glorify Him in heaven and earth. The gospel message didn’t come to me immediately the first time I heard it. I didn’t accept the gift of salvation the first time I was “preached” on. A foundation was built for me and in me before I took that first step to follow Jesus by accepting Him into my life. That foundation was built from multiple branches that come from the vine of Christ: my parents in Wisconsin, my theology teacher in high school, the church retreat in Saint Louis, the church we attended in Green Bay, etc. Church is not where our salvation is based on; our salvation is based on Christ alone. Church is simply a social club to help build that foundation to help prepare us and make sure we’re ready when the moment of decision comes.

An evangelist with a high success rate is not the one with great preaching talent or persuasive skill. That’s the lucky one who meets people who already have a strong foundation built prior to that moment of decision. When there’s no foundation, the message won’t stick because it’s like building something on sand, which will collapse eventually. So the gospel message shouldn’t be delivered as a single moment of impulse but should be treated as a journey, a process, with love and patience. Don’t just preach the gospel immediately, but love them through the journey first to build that foundation of understanding and then preach the gospel when the moment of decision comes, when the foundation is strong enough for the prodigal son to make the right choice. When all of these people built the foundation in me, I didn’t even have a clue. I was simply loved through all of this. But these evangelists knew what they were doing when they planted the seed in me. Not till later when the moment of decision came and I made the right choice that these people saw the fruit of their work. Throughout the process of laying down this foundation, nobody knew how I would turn out; they simply had patience on me and loved me through the journey. What a beautiful thing to serve God! What a love! A love that is so big, so powerful, pure, beautiful, unconditional, magnificent, that the world desperately needs but knows not of. What a God! So perfect, righteous, holy yet so merciful, patient, loving, full of grace and truth.

Quality of Love – Corporate World

Love

Our understanding of God and our level of faith depend on the breadth and depth of our relationship with Him. Breadth is the quantity of how much we want God and how strong our desire to be closer to Him is. Depth is our experience of and with God through trials and how much spiritual growth we have gained throughout the journey of life. The power of love can be explained in the same way: quantity and quality. Quantity of love is how much we love God and how much we want God. Quality of love is the application of this desire to follow Him and serve Him; it’s the fruit of the spirit, the action of the heart, the hand of the mind, and the result of our faith.

Recently I learned a big lesson about the quality of love in corporate world. Yes even in the midst of the storm, in the ugliest place of the human heart, God’s light still shines despite the lies darkness put on and the schemes Satan plans. In corporate world, it’s very common and even expected for one to steal credit from another. All of us have stories of how our bosses take our credit as their own to present to the C-suite. Of course our boss climbs higher and higher in the corporate ladder and we continue to do the lowly work that everybody needs but nobody knows about. At first I was very frustrated when this happened to me until I seeked wisdom from my dad. Instead of supporting me to remain angry at my boss, my dad said something so profound: I should be rejoiced instead! At first I didn’t understand but then eventually I got it. My boss takes credit from me because he is insecured with his job. He can only rely on himself and the mercy of the executive to keep this job. The financial burden on him is also a lot more than me. He has a mansion; I live in a small apartment. He drives a fancy car; I have my 11-year-old Ivan. But I have something much much much better and way more valuable that he doesn’t have: I have GOD. I don’t rely on myself or anyone else to keep my job. Even better I rely on the Most High God. This is the God that parted the Red Sea for the Israelites; this is the God that gave Goliath into the hand of David; this is the God that raised Christ from the death; this is the God that moved the heart of a bunch of weak, hopeless men with His Spirit to change the world and spread the gospel. So from that logic, if He really wants me to keep this job, who would dare to say no to Him? Who would have the power to take this gift away from me?

Jesus taught us “so when you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honored by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you” (Matthew 6: 2-4). So that gave me an idea: what if we extend the application of this lesson to more than just giving? What if we apply this message to corporate world? So instead of being angry about my credit got stolen from me, I decided to voluntarily give my credit to my boss. I got on my knees and prayed to God that if this is His will, He would use me to make this poor man feel more secured in his job and be more happy in his life. Insecurity leads to worriness, worriness leads to anxiety, anxiety leads to anger and frustration, which when have their full effect, can destroy a family. I don’t want to see that happen to anybody because I experienced first hand how it destroyed my family. If he wants the credit that bad, why not let him have his reward? I don’t lose anything. And I already have my reward, a bigger better everlasting reward from above, the kind of reward the world desperately needs but knows not of. God knows my heart; He will reward me for my obedience to Him. But even if He doesn’t, that’s still ok too because I already have the reward: I already have Jesus, the rock of my world, the foundation of my faith. In corporate world language, if I already have a Mercedes, why would I be angry or jealous of somebody else’s Corolla? I might as well give him my Corolla because what I have is already much better with higher value. If I already have my reward from the God of heaven and earth, I might as well give him the tiny little credits from the world. So my dad was right; I should be rejoiced. I’m joyful and peaceful with this decision.

On the surface it may seem to be unfair, but that’s only temporary at the moment. Eventually the truth will come out. “Fire tests the purity of silver and gold, but the Lord tests the heart” (Proverbs 17:3). So if I’m the gold, why should I be afraid of fire? Instead I should be rejoiced because the fire will help me shine, prove my worth, and speak the truth about my identity. Using the same concept, I should rejoice and thank God for trials because every trial I receive is one step closer to Him. It’s hard to go through trials at the moment of the test, but the view on the other side is so much worth it. God is worth it, and being closer to Him, even just as small as an inch closer, is still worth it.

The trials of my life have brought me closer to Him and confirmed my identity in Christ. My faith has grown in way I could have never imagined. If I had never gone through the loss of my mom, the bankruptcy, and multiple times near deportation, I would not have had the kind of faith and courage I possess today. I probably would not have even known God. And I wouldn’t trade God and our relationship for anything, not even for my mom or to get my family back. Why? Simple, He’s worth it! “Anyone who loves their father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves their son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. Whoever does not take up their cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life for my sake will find it” (Matthew 10: 37-39). The process is very simple: Jesus told me to give up everything to follow Him. I said ok, took my cross, and follow. He says go to the left, I go to the left. He says go to the right, I go to the right. He says run, I run. He says fight, I fight. He says stop, I stop. He says wait, I wait. It’s not easy. Sometimes I get frustrated and just want to run away. Most of the times I complaint. Sometimes I even fight Him, which is bad for me anyway at the end. But through all of this, I didn’t put down my cross. I continue to take my cross; I continue to fight the battle; I continue to follow; I continue to love Him regardless. At first when I don’t get what I want, I always get frustrated and angry at Him. But then later on, I realize that it’s such a GOOD thing that He didn’t give me what I asked for. If He had let me win the lottery in the past two years, the green card process would have been delayed. If He had given me the job I settled and asked for, I wouldn’t have had this amazing job I do now.

In Luke 16, Jesus taught us about a shrew manager of how people of this world will know this world and play the game much better than us. To put it in today terms, they are at the PhD level of manipulation, lying, cheating, deception, lust, dishonesty, gossiping, back stabbing, and hence money making, whereas we as disciples of Christ are at the kindergarten level of all of the above. But what good is it to lose the soul and gain a bunch of zeros in the bank account or paper with dollar sign on it? There’s nothing wrong with money, but it’s wrong to put money above God; it’s wrong to play the game by the rule of this world; it’s wrong to climb the corporate ladder with a heartless mindset; it’s wrong to live our lives by the standard of man instead of the standard of God; it’s wrong to treat people by the selfishness and greed of the heart rather than the love of God. Money is fine, but the love of money is not. It’s the root of all evils.

“But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. Such “wisdom” does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice. But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace reap a harvest of righteousness” (James 3: 14-18). The wisdom of this world is the status quo expected in corporate world. That’s the same wisdom the shrew manager used in Luke 16 to earn his profit gain. The wisdom of God is the opposite. It’s by His standard, not man’s standard. It’s by his level of faith, not man’s corporate ladder. It’s based on love, not selfishness and greed. If I run a business school, everybody, regardless of their major, must learn the story in Luke 16 first before we can talk about other things in business. Without a solid foundation, all of the business achievements become meaningless and even harmful. That foundation is built upon Jesus Christ, the rightesous man of God, the Son of God, and God Himself in the flesh. Though none walk with me, still I will follow. If I’m the only one playing by His rule, I keep playing and staying in the game living by His standard. If I’m the only one carrying the cross, then ok that’ll make my shoulders stronger I suppose. No matter the cost, I just want to be with Him. If losing the world means gaining Him, I get a really good deal out of this then.

Words of Wisdom

Inspiration
  • You take the hand of a stranger to touch their heart.
  • Don’t judge them on where they’re at, but love them back to where they should be.
  • The Bible is like a recipe. Eventually we have to live it out everyday by putting all of the ingredients together and bake it.
  • God gives us common sense like making soup. But we add our own ingredients to it like salt and pepper and vegetables. Then we end up with nonsense.
  • Which one came first: the chicken or the egg? The chicken of course came first because God created all animals.
  • God always answers the phone; the line is never busy.
  • I work really hard to be different from everyone else. If everyone else is going to hell, do you want to follow them?
  • I take one side; God takes another. Together we get it done.
  • Let God’s heart be on your lips.
  • “This is how they know you are my disciples: that you love one another.” Many can be Christians; only a few are disciples.
  • Though none walk with me, still I will follow.
  • My God you have my heart, what do I have to fear?
  • The best things in life are worth the wait.
  • God is good all the time. And all the time God is good.
  • God calls us to fight, and He guarantees our winning for the victory belongs to the Lord, and He’s on our side