At one of the Bible studies, somebody raised a very good question: how do we trust God like what church and the Bible teach us while at the same time, the culture in the world we live in constantly encourages us to plan ahead? I personally don’t see any conflict between these two, and I truly believe that we should plan out our lives. To trust God doesn’t mean not to plan out anything, but it means to continue to love Him, serve Him, and not get angry at Him when things don’t go according to our plan. Without a plan, how can we achieve our dreams? Without dreams, how can we live out life to the fullest? It’s not only O.K but also good to dream, to chase after our dreams, and to plan it out ahead of time to touch the sky. God wouldn’t want us to live a life with no purpose, no direction, and no goal. If our plan matches His plan, things will go smoothly with peace in our heart. But if our plan doesn’t match His, sometimes He let the plan come through anyway to teach us to trust Him and understand that His way is better. Sometimes, it just won’t even happen at all because He’s trying to protect us from the harm ahead that we can’t see with our human eyes. Trust, just like love, needs to be taught through experience, not theological teachings. It’s like building blocks, one stone at a time, and each time we’re getting stronger and stronger in our faith and trust in God after each experience, each trial, each stone. I truly believe with all my heart that if it’s God’s will, if He promises me something, as long as I do my part, He will do His part.

The Bible is full of examples of how God fulfill His promises. When man does their part, God will do His. When man doesn’t do their part, God still remains faithful with His promises, but there will be consequences. God promised David, through Samuel, to be king over Israel. David did his part by going after God’s own heart, facing Goliath with no fear, and having mercy toward Saul. So God honored His promise to give him popularity among the people, strength to kill Goliath, victories in battles, and eventually kingship in Israel. The difference between David becoming king and the stereotype of climbing the ladder in corporate world is that when it’s God’s plan, He delivered kingship into David’s hands versus when it’s man’s plan, they do whatever it takes to get to the throne despite all of the people getting hurt in the process. One success is God-made, the other is man-made. One is God’s plan, the other is man’s plan. David didn’t become king because he killed Saul to climb to the throne. He had mercy on Saul to let him go, but Saul took his own life in battle, so the people of Israel urged David to be their king. Because it is God’s promise for David to be king and David did his part to honor God to live in righteousness, God remained faithful to deliver the throne into David’s hands through the circumstances around him. David couldn’t control Saul to die in battle; he couldn’t make the Israelites anoint him to be king. He only focused on his relationship with God, so God planned the situation around him to bring him to the throne of Israel. Through all of this, one battle at a time, David experienced his trust and love for God as well as God’s faithfulness and love for him, so his faith has grown throughout the process.

Another example in the Old Testament is Moses (I’m particularly thankful for the opportunity to see the live theater story of Moses in Branson MO, what a good way to end my green card celebration!). God promised Moses through the burning bush that He would use Moses to deliver Israel from slavery. Moses did his part by facing Pharaoh with no fear, working with Aaron, and getting out of his comfort zone to speak up in front of the Jews. But there were a lot of things Moses couldn’t control, so God did His part to send down the ten plagues, part the sea, provide manna from heaven, and lead them through the desert. Again this is how we know it’s God’s plan: it’s His timing, everything works together, and the circumstances around just fit perfectly into the promise He has made and fulfilled.

God’s promises and fulfillment don’t stop in the Old Testament. Fast forward to the New Testament, God promised Peter to make him the fisher of man. Peter had to do his part to travel to different countries, preach the gospel, pray without ceasing, love others, and face death with no fear. So God honored that and did His part to protect him on the mission, guide his steps, send out the Holy Spirit, break the jail cell, and move people’s hearts to accept the gospel. Through all of this, I bet Peter’s trust and love for God also grew, just like David’s and Moses’. Again trust and love have to be taught through experience. Once we experience first hand God’s faithfulness and love for us personally, we can’t help it but to trust and love Him back because that perfect, unconditional love just outflows in our heart.

My faith may not be as strong as David’s, Moses’, and Peter’s, but God has graciously given me the opportunity to personally experience His faithfulness and unconditional love to draw me closer to Him, to help me understand Him more and know Him better. He gave me the promises of the scholarship and green card, through my dad. There were so many trials during the process, including the sins of my own, but God has remained faithful through all of it to deliver the scholarship and green card into my hands when the time was right. I did my part, and He did His. But even better, not only He did His part, He also helped me to do my part with the Holy Spirit in me. “I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength” (Philippians 4: 12-13). Through all of this, I learn to trust and love God more; my faith gets stronger after each trial and each fulfilled promise. I made my plans; sometimes they came true, and sometimes they didn’t. But I’m so thankful that my goals match God’s vision for my life, so at the end, all of the pieces fall into place and we both reached the goals. I don’t know His master plan for my life and what is ahead of me, but I’m so excited to continue this journey with Him. Sometimes I look back at the past but not to condemn myself of my own sins and mistakes. I look back at who I was to be thankful for who I am today. I remember what I did to be thankful for His forgiveness and faithfulness throughout the process. I think about what we’ve gone through together to be thankful for what we have today, not just the scholarship and the green card, but more importantly I’m thankful for the kind of relationship we have today, for the love that we have for one another though His love is much bigger than mine. So we shouldn’t turn around to condemn ourselves of the past, but we should look back at who we were to be thankful for who we are today. Then we will have the heavenly peace and joy to live out the present and enjoy the journey with no more fear. At that point, we have confidence to face the future because our hope is grounded in Christ so that we can live our life to the fullest. “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid” (John 14:27).

“There is no fear in love. But perfect love casts out fear because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. We love because he first loved us” (1 John 4: 18-19). When Jesus conquered death, He took away the biggest fear of all disciples: the fear of death. There they were made perfect in love because they no longer lived in fear. Instead they lived out their livest to the fullest as they spread the gospel; they loved and served God first as they loved and served each other and those around them. They did their part to keep Jesus’ commands for them: “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another” (John 13: 34-35). As they did their part, God dis His part to provide everything they need, not only earthly things but also heavenly wisdom, boldness, and compassion to do His will. “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own” (Matthew 6: 33-34). “But when they arrest you, do not worry about what to say or how to say it. At that time you will be given what to say, for it will not be you speaking, but the Spirit of your Father speaking through you” (Matthew 10: 19-20). We can’t fully know God until we get in heaven to see His full glory, but when we’re on this earth, we can still be made perfect in love to live our life without fear.

As I continue to plan and prepare for Harvard, I will continue to do my part and trust that God will do His part. If Harvard never comes true, I’m O.K with it. I’m not angry at Him because I’m already so thankful for what I have, for what He has delivered into my hands, for what He has graciously given me. Harvard is just icing on the cake; I already tasted how delicious the cake is, so anything above that is just additional. It’s what I want, not what I need. God is what and who I need. And I’m so thankful that I have Him already. Just like how God took away the biggest fear of the disciples, the fear of death, He also took away my biggest fear, the fear of deportation. Because of this, I no longer live in free; I’m free from fear. So now I have the peace and joy to cherish every moment of the journey in the present with courage, hope, and excitement to face the future ahead of me. Now I can finally live my life to the fullest and chase after my dreams. Before I was simply walking, now I’m running, and hopefully in three years, I’ll be able to fly toward my dreams. But I didn’t do it alone nor will I ever have to do it alone because God’s been there through every single step and He will continue to be there with me. I learned that when I run before Him, I typically, if not always, fall because I can’t see the speed bumps ahead of me. So this time I don’t want to run before Him anymore. I want to walk behind Him so that He’ll protect me; I want to walk side by side with Him so that He’ll hold my hands. That’s how I know if something is God’s will in my life or not. He will protect and guide me through the process if I do it with Him. But if I run ahead of Him or go my own way and do my own things, I’ll stumble and fall, and it hurts! When everything falls into place, that’s evidence the destination is God’s plan. Before the green card came into reality, there were many proofs: internship at a good company with connection to local business leaders; sponsorship from the employer (this one is quite obvious!); all of the people around me (my co-worker, the girl at Bible study, the Uber driver in LA) all got the green card throughout my immigration process. Using the same logic, as I’m planning and preparing for Harvard, I also see several pieces fall into place and there are evidences throughout the process: Northwestern, PE job title, scholarship fund, etc.

But this time will be different. Last time as we fought the immigration battle together for the scholarship and the green card, I did that out of fear and I lived in that fear everyday. This time as I’m preparing for Harvard, I’m doing it out of love because my faith now is much stronger than before, because I trust God more and know Him better, because I have learned and grown so much in Scripture, because now I know what it means to be a disciple instead of a mere Christian. Tears of despair and hopelessness of the past will be replaced with tears of thankfulness and overwhelming grace and love this time. Fear of the past will be trembled with joy and excitement this time. No more fear! No more living in fear! This time and from now on only living in love, the perfect unconditional love of Christ! This time will be different: I will enjoy and cherish every single moment on this journey as we walk toward Harvard together with perfect love, stronger faith, and no more fear. I will run after my dreams and live my life to the fullest! Living my life to the fullest doesn’t mean YOLO like what the world says. Instead right now as I’m living my life to the fullest, I’m living out the Scripture I’ve learned from the Bible. I keep God’s word in my heart so that I can truly experience it everyday on my walk with Him. So far I’m very thankful for the experiences I have had and the lessons I have learned from these verses. But it doesn’t end there; I’m still trying, learning, and doing my best to live them out everyday.

• Daniel 3 God is the Lord Most High with His sovereignty over all man and all things on earth. No Nebuchadnezzar, no tyrant, no political figure is too big for Him. No one can touch me if God protects me. No one can alter His plan in my life as long as I remain faithful to Him and obey Him to do my part. I choose to honor Him regardless of all circumstances around me.
• John 8: 1-11 the story of the adulterous woman
• Psalm 56: 3-4 “When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. In God whose word I praise – in God I trust and am not afraid. What can mere mortals do to me?”
• John 13: 34-35 “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”
• Philippians 4: 12-13 “I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.”
• 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7 “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others; it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preservers.”
• 1 John 4: 18 “There is no fear in love. But perfect love casts out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.”
• 1 Samuel 17:37 “The Lord who rescued me from the paw of the lion and the paw of the bear will rescue me from the hand of this Philistine.”
• Hebrews 11:1 “Faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.”
• 1 Corinthians 6: 19-20 “Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.”
• 1 John 1:9 “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”
• Psalm 32:8 “I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my loving eye on you.”
• Psalm 119: 11 “I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you.”
• Psalm 139: 23-24 “Search me God and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting” (I don’t pray this prayer a lot, but whenever I do, God always answers this prayer very quickly,  typically within 24 hours!).
• Romans 10: 9-10 “If you declare with your mouth, ‘Jesus is Lord,’ and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with you heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved.”

Recently at work, we’ve been talking a lot about building the infrastructure for our business intelligence and analytics platform. The work is complicated, but once it’s broken down into a process flow, everything seems much more clear and easy to handle. That links me to start thinking about my own personal process flow of how I came to the decision to become a disciple of God.

When God didn’t answer my prayer to let me win the visa lottery, anger started to come into my heart. In front of everyone, I would act like everything was fine and told people that I trusted God with His plan. Even though my mind constantly repeated that, my heart didn’t believe it because my heart was full of anger. My heart was also full of doubt because I didn’t understand why God wouldn’t give me what I asked for. When anger took a hold of my heart, temptation started to come into my mind. At that time during my moment of weakness under anger and doubt, I was not on guard of my faith, so I let the temptation of the flesh to come into my mind. After this temptation grew, it completed its mission when I sinned against the Lord. This is how sneaky Satan works. He constantly watches us and patiently waits for the moment our faith is unguarded and weakened. Then once we let our guard down, even if it’s only for a moment, Satan grabs the opportunity and put the temptation in our mind to lead us toward sin. That’s why we have to constantly guard our faith because sin starts with the thought, then grows with the deed to set everything in motion, and finally completes its work in action. “When tempted, no one should say, ‘God is tempting me.’ For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death” (James 1: 13-15). This is the process of flow that Scripture explains to us. But God doesn’t stop there; He also warns us to be careful with the anger in our heart to not give in to sin. “In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold” (Ephesians 4: 26-27).

After Satan leads us to sin, if we yield to him and commit that sin, he then will turn it around and accuse us of the sin he whispers in our ears to commit to. The whole process of blaming and accusation starts here. Then in our mind, we will finally realize the reality of what we have done; we will have to face the consequences of the decision we made to sin. That reality check will lead to fear, shame, guilt, regret, pain, and despair in our heart. If we don’t have Christ in our lives, the story ends here. And we forever will live in the fear, shame, guilt, regret, pain, and despair that we put ourselves into.

But for those of us that have Jesus in our lives, things start to change here and take another turn. God’s unconditional love through the forgiveness of sin will wash away all of the ugliness of our sin in our heart. Because of the blood of Christ, we are now holy and blameless in God’s eyes. We no longer have to live in our own fear, shame, guilt, regret, pain, and despair. Instead we know with complete confidence that we are forgiven by God, and no one, not even Satan, can ever hold us accountable or accuse us of that sin anymore because the Most High God has the final say, and He chooses to forgive us of our sin. At that time, this confidence in our identity in Christ takes root in our mind to give us boldness, courage, and completion to live out our faith. We don’t look back at who we were or the sin we committed to condemn ourselves. We think about the person we once were to be thankful for the person we are today in Christ. “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ. For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will – to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves. In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace that he lavished on us. With all wisdom and understanding, he made known to us the mystery of his will according to his good pleasure, which he purposed in Christ, to be put into effect when the times reach their fulfillment – to bring unity to all things in heaven and on earth under Christ” (Ephesians 1: 3-10). The moment we fully realize our identity in Christ with all our mind and truly believe it with all our heart, we will have the desire to make a conscious decision to live this out and walk with Him everyday. At that point, we no longer live in fear because this perfect love of Christ drives away all our fear. We will want to be the hands and feet of Jesus, to become his disciple: servant of God. When I reached this point of my life, on October 22, 2016, I made a decision to intentionally serve God and walk with Him each and every single day – “God I accept the responsibility to be your disciple. I choose to love you, honor you, praise you, and walk with you everyday. To act justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with you for the rest of my life and for all eternity.”

Now looking back, I realize God’s tier of grace and mercy on me. First He is merciful enough to forgive me for my sin. Then He is gracious enough to love me anyway after what I have done. But it doesn’t stop there; He takes grace and mercy to the next level. What I cannot explain is how and why He still trusts me and uses me to serve Him and the people that He loves. I don’t deserve His forgiveness or His love. And I definitely don’t deserve His trust even more. I don’t even deserve to be called His servant. Yet not only He uses me as His servant, He calls me His child and loves me unconditionally. This kind of love, this kind of trust, I will never understand. But I’m so glad He give me this love and this trust because without it, I can’t go on with my life with boldness and confidence in Christ. I hope that means I will never sin again, but I know that’s not the case. I will continue to sin, to make mistakes, to mess up my life, but I refuse to live in sin like I was. And I have confidence that when I do sin, Christ will still be there, as He has always done and will forever continue to do, to forgive me and love me back to where God wants me to be. But that doesn’t mean I get a free pass to sin. I should never take His forgiveness for granted. Rather I use it as an assurance of His love for me to live out my life boldly and courageously in Christ. “What shall we say then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? By no means! We are those who have died to sin; how can we live in it any longer? Or don’t you know that all of us who were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life. For if we have been united with him in a death like his, we will certainly also be united with him in a resurrection like his. For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body ruled by sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be salves to sin – because anyone who has died has been set free from sin” (Romans 6: 1-7).

A few months ago I tried to volunteer to be a greeter at church and help with the high school youth group, especially for the teen girls. Disappointingly, there was no response. But last Sunday morning, as I accidentally joined a life group, I was asked by the leader in charge of the greeters if I would be interested to volunteer for this position. The next day I was asked by the youth group director if I would like to volunteer for DNow. It was very disappointing at first when man said no. But when God says yes, at His timing, everything will be done smoothly and perfectly according to His will.

DNow stands for Disciple Now. This is a weekend-long series of events where high school students get to go to church, study the Bible, worship, and have a big slumber party at the end at houses sponsored by adults at the church. The kids are divided into groups; each group is led by a 20-something leader of the same gender. For me it was an honor to be asked by the church to volunteer. It was a privilege to be asked by God to give back what I have received. When I was 15, I packed my bag, hopped on the plane, crossed the ocean, left everyone and everything behind, and arrived in Saint Louis MO. Here I was required to go to church with the family I was living with. I did it out of obedience and by force. But I remember one day one of the girls in my AP Chemistry class in my sophomore year asked me to join the event at her church. They had a big Valentine’s Day celebration for the youth group. Out of curiosity and the desire to have fun, I accepted the invitation. The event was very similar to DNow. I will never forget the feeling I had on that day. It started with a Bible study, and of course I got lost immediately. I was thinking to myself: What on earth are they talking about? How can they find those sayings (verses) that fast? And what is this big book every kid is carrying with them (this was before the time of Bible app on smartphones)? But the most surprising part was when I actually felt like I fit in. People cared; they talked to me. I was treated as a person, not an object to pour the Bible on, not a case to convert. They asked about my background, my culture, my American experience thus far, my hopes, and my dreams. They wanted to get to know me, and they welcomed me for who I am. They accepted me when I was a stranger to their family. That’s something unusual we don’t see nowadays, even at churches. But the youth group at that small church in Saint Louis has treated me with the love of Christ, something I have never experienced before growing up in Vietnam. They made me feel so welcomed and loved that I didn’t want to leave. Now thinking back I just realized that event at the youth group was my first time meeting Jesus. When I went to church, I heard of Jesus and I didn’t understand what I was hearing. But when I was welcomed to that family among the high school students my age, I met Jesus for the first time through the love of His disciples. I believe that God already knew me before I knew Him, but that night was the first time I felt His presence. For me that was the first time we met. We didn’t make it official and start our relationship till a couple years later, however, so I guess God and I, we took it slow!

Another thing that got my attention was the way the host treated his wife. The way he loved her tenderly and took care of her needs blew my mind away. At that time I thought it was an American thing. Well now I realize it wasn’t; it was a Christian thing! When we truly walk with God, we just can’t help but showing it to the world. When we are so loved by God and when the relationship we have with Him is so strong, we just can’t help it but spread that love around like crazy to everyone we come in contact with. That event with the youth group made such a big impact on my life that I will never forget. And until this day I still remember the joy and peace I felt that night as I first experienced the love of God through His children. It planted the seed in my heart so that years later, when the condition was right, God watered the seed and made it grow. I will always be thankful for that girl in my AP Chemistry class who invited me. She took the action of faith to invite a stranger, a pagan into her loving family of Christ. We lost contact so I can’t tell her how much I appreciate what she has done for me. But if you are reading this article, I hope that you will be encouraged to invite somebody to your church events, especially non-believers. And please don’t judge when somebody comes to Bible study not knowing where to find the verses in the Bible or if they don’t even have a Bible. Teach them, love them, and welcome them to the family. Bring them to the party! As I’m thinking about volunteering for DNow in a couple months, I wonder if there will be another Mimi coming to the event to check it out, to have fun, to see what these Christian kids are like. And who knows what can happen? Maybe at the event she will also feel God’s presence and Christ’s love through the people around her. And maybe further down the road, this little Mimi will one day accept Jesus in her heart and give her life to Him, all because the little seed is planted at the youth group event.

Last Tuesday I had a rough day at work. It wasn’t dramatically bad but definitely not a great moment of my life. As I stumbled into my Bible study, I felt sad and angry; I didn’t connect at all with anyone. I was talking with the people around me, but it felt more socializing than fellowship. But of course little did I know, God already had the whole thing planned out to change my mood. At the end of Bible study, I had an opportunity to walk out with one of the girls who was struggling with her situation at work. I truly believe this was a divine moment from God. As we were talking, I was able to share with her the knowledge I have gained through my walk with God. My day started bad at work but God used the Holy Spirit through me to bless somebody else that night, to encourage her on her walk with Him, and to teach her the right way to fight the battle. Because of that short conversation at the end of the night, it doesn’t matter how bad my day was. That one moment working for God is more valuable and fulfilling than countless hours in the office. So I would say I had a pretty good Tuesday then. That one moment serving God is better than all of the hours mistreated by man.

This is the cycle of battles that I have recognized from these two small incidents and from what I have been blessed with throughout my walk with God. As trials come into our lives, our first initial, natural response was complaint, anxiety, and fear. But I think we’re wrong. If trials come to test our faith, strengthen our relationship with God, and bring us to the next level of intimacy with Him, then we should feel pretty good facing trials in our lives. I mean what a honor that the most High God decides to use me to fight the battle in the heavenly realm against Satan and draw me closer to Him. This is exciting! So instead of facing trials with negativity, I propose a new solution: let’s face trials with excitement and heavenly joy. If we fight with God, we already know that victory belongs to our side, so why should we worry and complaint about this? We shouldn’t. Let’s have fun facing trials to show Satan one more time the kind of God that we serve. It’s a great honor to be on His team. He doesn’t need us to fight the battle for Him. God is strong enough to defeat His enemy. But He delights in using us to fight the battle with Him because He knows that trials will bring us closer to Him and make us stronger at the end as long as we preserve. “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything” (James 1: 2-4). So as we face trials, we pray to God, we asked Him for help, and we joyfully fight the battle with Him. The result is guaranteed as long as we don’t give up on God; that’s the power when we fall on our knees. “Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him” (James 1:12). Sometimes God will deliver somebody into our lives to help us fight the battle, so it’s a team effort here, a big group event. And of course a celebration party at the end when Satan is defeated. But the story doesn’t end here. God will use the experience we have gone through and the knowledge we have gained to bless and help somebody else. I certainly hope that He will use me to bless another high school kid at DNow in a couple months. That would be my honor to serve God to give back what I have been given freely and lovingly.

A couple months ago, I used to believe that our faith is like a stock chart with ups and downs, and hopefully the trendline is going upward. Therefore, this trendline is invisible. It’s only a direction of where our faith is going overall. So the blue ups and downs line below is our faith, and the red broken trendline doesn’t mean anything but direction.

But recently I changed my mind about this theory. Our faith is indeed the red solid trendline, which is our spiritual growth whereas the blue ups and downs line is our life, with positive and negative events. This is our earthly issues and physical body whereas the red trendline going upward is our faith because we are constantly growing in Christ.

It’s impossible to grow spiritually in faith without pain and trials since all experience is the lesson drawing us closer to God. The book of Job is a great example here. If Job had never gone through any of these losses, he wouldn’t have been able to understand the magnificent power and unconditional love God had for him. The valleys and mountains are earthly life with trials, issues, successes, and failures. They are not our spiritual life. Instead the solid upward trendline is our spiritual life, our spiritual growth in faith through trials, through mountains/successes and valleys/failures in life. Through all of this and all experience, we gain spiritual knowledge and wisdom in God. Sometimes God can turn even our sin into something good. I remember when I was struggling with my own sin, I ran away from Him because I felt so shameful, guilty, filthy, and fearful. But He turned it into good. After I sincerely confessed my sin, for the first time in my life, I experienced first hand His unconditional love through the forgiveness of sin. This particular sin I committed was the valley of my life, but thanks to God, He turned it into something good to push my faith to the next level and help me grow spiritually by giving me a deeper understanding of His perfect love for a sinner like me. However, it doesn’t mean that we have to sin to get to the next level in faith. The valleys can be anything. It can be a sin in that example. It can be a loss of the loved one, a discouragement from a close friend, a financial setback, a disease, a failing relationship, a rejection from college, or in my case the fear of deportation sometimes. As long as we continue to preserve with our faith in God, He will reward us with spiritual growth and knowledge to bring us to the next level of faith to be closer to Him. That reward is worth it. That reward is better than any trials and setbacks combining.

Some people say that one has to be a backslider to grow spiritually, and I used to believe that until recently. But now I disagree with that concept! Our faith should grow constantly, and sin shouldn’t be required for that growth. Again the example of Job proves this theory. When Job lost everything, he didn’t listen to his friends and curse God. Instead he remained faithful. Yes he did complaint, but he didn’t turn his back from God; he didn’t live in sin. He chose to be faithful and continue to cry out to his beloved Creator. The reward: not only Job got back double his portion in the worldly possessions, he got something far greater: he got spiritual knowledge through the experience of pain and trials. He got closer to God, the love of his life, the one he chased after. Satan doesn’t know our faith, so that’s why he constantly challenges our faith. But God knows our faith because He knows the most intimate details about us. When I read the conversation between God and Satan at the beginning of Job, I wonder if they still have the same conversation about us today? Perhaps sometimes they even talk about me. Does Satan want to attack my life because he sees the growing faith I have? And does God allow the attack because He knows my faith is bigger than the trial and temptation Satan presents? Some preachers say “I will scare the hell out of them to bring them to God” when they plant the fear of hell in people’s minds, hoping that the fear will grow so big that the individual will turn to God to secure a spot in heaven. I propose a new solution: let’s love the hell out of them to bring them to God. Instead of the fear strategy, let’s use the love strategy. Let’s love every piece of sin and hell out of that person. Let’s love them so much that they want more and more of that love. Let’s be an ambassador of Christ, an example of heavenly love to draw the individual to the source of unconditional love: God.

A prophecy given to a servant of God must serve only two purposes:

• To increase their desire for God like a burning fire inside their heart
• To motivate them to choose to serve God like a humble servant

It shouldn’t be about personal gain; the prophet should have absolute no earthly gain from the prophecy. It’s only for the good of the individual receiving the message. My dad wants me to one day be able to get to the level of spiritual growth and knowledge to hear God’s voice directly and minister to others around me. To be a humble servant, a chosen disciple of God. Typically parents have a vision for their kids to be a successful doctor or lawyer, but I guess my dad is quite different! He has a different vision in mind for my future. He doesn’t care about the level of man or the successes of man. He wants more for me. He wants the best for me. He wants the level of God and the reward of faith for me. I guess our family tradition is somewhat different! I’m excited to get to that level, but at the same time, I honestly don’t know what that means. It’s like something I can feel but can’t really see or touch. I guess that’s where faith comes in: “confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see” (Hebrews 11:1). The good news here is that even though I don’t know what the destination looks like, I know that I want it and I know how to get there: to continue studying the Bible, stay grounded in prayer, put God first on my priority list, and constantly humble myself before Him with a servant heart. That’s the action plan!

Right now I think I pass level 1, the elementary stage knowing that there’s a God, and His name is Jesus. That He loves us. He helps us. And He answers our prayers. Now I’m preparing for level 2: knowing that God speaks to us. That He guides us, and He wants us to be His servants. Level 3 is more advanced to be able to hear His voice directly and be able to distinguish His voice from Satan’s voice. The task is indeed difficult, but we have an instruction of step-by-step process to accomplish this: “Dear friends, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, because many false prophets have gone out into the world. This is how you can recognize the Spirit of God: every spirit that acknowledges that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is from God, but every spirit that does not acknowledge Jesus is not from God. This is the spirit of the Antichrist, which you have heard is coming and even now is already in the world” (1 John 4: 1-3). Also another instruction from God is this: “Dear children, do not let anyone lead you astray. The one who does what is right is righteous, just as he is righteous. The one who does what is sinful is of the devil, because the devil has been sinning from the beginning. The reason the Son of God appeared was to destroy the devil’s work” (1 John 3: 7-8). Also coming at this level is the battle between heaven and hell, clearly described in Scripture: “For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms” (Ephesians 6:12). Personally this verse is more scary than any Halloween horror movies I have ever seen! But of course, the fight is worth it because the reward in heaven is worth it and the victory is already on our side when we stand with God. Level 4 is to be able to walk with God and listen to God every step of every day everywhere. I don’t mean “feeling like the Holy Spirit is talking” but actually know what the Holy Spirit is saying like talking to a friend at lunch time hearing every single word he’s saying. This level takes a tremendous amount of faith because the servant must comfortably allow God to take control over all of the steps at all moments of his day and his life. I asked my dad what’s next after this level. He didn’t tell me. He said that when we get to this level, we will know what the next one is because at this stage, we already have the spiritual knowledge needed for constant growth.

I have been a Christian for awhile now (Jan 14, 2017 is my 6-year anniversary with God). Throughout all this time during my walk with God, I only know one person that has reached the highest level described above: my dad. I’ll give a simple example. When I was home for 5 days for spiritual training, his phone never rang once. The day I left to the airport to go back to Florida, it phone started ringing; God put him back to work (for the ministry God is doing through him). That small example shows that God, not my dad, controls his schedule. God decides when my dad’s working on the next project, where it is, and what it is. He tells dad which roads to take, whom to talk to, and what to say. One time my dad was speaking to this stranger about the biggest secret he was doing. Well no surprise here but the guy was shocked! He thought nobody knew what he was doing. I guess he was wrong. God knew what he was doing. God told my dad and used my dad to confront him. Again going back to the two solely purposes of prophecy: my dad didn’t gain anything from this situation, but the stranger confessed and got back to God. Hallelujah! Most of the times, if not always, we speak too much and know so little. That’s why it’s important to close our mouth and open our ears to listen to God and listen to others for God.

To get to the next level, there’s a price to pay. For me, the entry level was baptism when I publicly announced to the world I would give my life to Jesus and follow Him. The price for me was the loss of my mom. When we are ready for the test, God will present the scenario and show us the price we have to pay to get to this level. At that point, we have to make a decision 1) to pay the price to be closer to God and have a stronger relationship and understanding of God at a deeper level or 2) to not pay the price and stay at the same level we currently are. If we choose option two, it doesn’t mean we lose our salvation; it simply means that our faith is not strong enough to get to a higher level of spiritual knowledge. None of us knows when the test will come, what that price is, or under what scenario. So what we need to do is to CONSTANTLY GUARD OUR FAITH; we need to always be grounded in spiritual growth to fulfill the requirements of the price to pass the test when it comes. To put it in practical terms, I will continue to study the Bible and maintain a humble servant heart before God. How good of a servant I am depends on how much and how hard I study.

To stay humble, we must understand its opposition: pride. For me where I am right now, I see pride as priority or intent of the heart. If my priority is me, I will do whatever it takes to satisfy me. That’s pride. I’ll help somebody to make me look more appealing, sound smarter, feel better, and be higher than that person. If my priority is man (people around me), eventually I will lose the desire to help anyone because I won’t be able to please everyone. The best scenario is if my priority is God, then I will serve, bless, love, and help somebody else not because I’m so good, but because I’m so bad and God is so loving that He still wants to use me to do His work. I’m nothing without him. I can do nothing unless He’s preparing it, planning it for me, and doing it with me “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing” (John 15:5). So it only comes down to this: what’s the motive behind our actions? To serve ourselves, man, or God? There are three options; the math is quite simple, but the decision is tough. Which one do you choose today? Tomorrow? And for all eternity? “No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money” (Matthew 6:24). Which one do you serve today? Tomorrow? And for all eternity? I choose to serve God today, tomorrow, and for all eternity. On October 22, 2016 I made this commitment to God. Since then I have been following it and today I want to restate that commitment to God.

God I accept the responsibility to be your disciple. I choose to love you, honor you, praise you, and walk with you everyday. To act justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with you for the rest of my life and all eternity.

Some people say I’m too young to do the kind of things I do and have the kind of knowledge I have. I used to believe it until recently I disagree. Age is a label put on us by man; they put it on us the moment we were born. Don’t act your age. Act the spiritual age God wants you to act. What is your age in God’s standard? Are you an infant, teenager, adult, or senior? Well as for me, I’m no longer an infant. I think I’m in elementary school now as I excitingly prepare for middle school.