Lately a friend of mine raised a very good question for me that I didn’t quite know how to answer (till I talked to my dad of course): how do we bring back a prodigal son? In this case, that can also be a prodigal daughter, sister, brother, cousin, friend, etc. If somebody grew up on a Christian foundation in a godly home and turned away from God, how do we win them back? What can we say to them to turn them away from the dark side? Some may have more severe situations than others: drug, sex, abortion, prostitution vs. workaholics, love of money, atheism. It seems like if we say the wrong thing, it will push them away even more; the basic concept of reverse psychology I suppose. The more we pull, the more we push them further and further from the truth. But at the same time, we can’t just do nothing and let them fail. Do we simply wait for them to hit rock bottom and then come in with our message?

Well if you see somebody getting closer to a cliff, will you warn them to take a step back or just let them fall off the cliff? If you see a soul parked at the gate of hell and only one step away from it, will you bring them back to the light or just let their soul suffer for all eternity while enjoying your salvation? At this point, I think it’s clear that we have to, not that we should but have to, do something. What should we do? And even if we want to, can we really make a difference? Will it work? They won’t listen, so what else can we say? How much more and what more can we do?

When we start asking these questions, our heart is in the right place because we sincerely want to help them. But unfortunately, we ask the wrong questions. We can’t say anything in situation like this but we can do something about it. In other words, we can’t preach them back to the truth but we can love them back to the light. Don’t judge them on where they’re at but love them back to where they should be. Can’t preach them back, can’t scare them back, can’t present logic and evidence to win them back, can’t talk the senses to lure them back, can’t bribe them back, can’t promise them something to turn them back. But we can always love them back. That’s the power of true love; that’s the power of God’s love in us and through us. This love is the force behind Jesus coming down from heaven to save us. This love is the core of our salvation and hence the foundation of our faith. If this love is so big that it can defeat death and give us eternal life in the kingdom of God, then what else can stand before this kind of love? What limit does it have? What earthly force can say no and not bow down to this kind of love? Nothing, no force, no limit.

So the first step we should do to a prodigal son in our life is not preaching to them but simply loving them through all of this. Don’t meet up to tell them what a loser they are or what a mess they make. Meet up to get dinner, go to a movie, order pizza, share a cookie, joke around, go fishing, go bowling, play basketball, play soccer, dress up, wear makeup, watch YouTube videos, etc. The cookie and the soccer ball will open the door to the pain behind their decision to walk away. Then when that door is open, your prodigal son, you, and God all together can get to the bottom of the pain and fix the core of the problem. People don’t just sell their bodies for money for fun; no child dreams about becoming a thief. There’s a reason behind that decision to walk away. Most of the times, it involves a pain that’s too big to describe and too much to bear. Without knowing what that pain is, there’s nothing we can say to win them back. Without them opening their heart, there’s nothing we can do to turn them away from hell. But we have the power that Satan doesn’t have: the power of love. This is the unconditional, powerful, magnificent, pure, beautiful, overwhelming love through the Holy Spirit in Christ from the Heavenly Father. This sincere love can unlock any door to the bottom of the heart where pain resides and rules over. Then this same powerful love, once touches the heart, can break the pain with hope and faith that no demon can attack. It creates a shield of protection that Satan can’t even touch. It speaks the truth that no lie can withstand. And all of that starts not with great preaching, not with multiple Bible verses reciting, not with knowledge pouring out. That love starts with a small simple action of bonding, a cookie, a soccer ball. It starts with a simple question above all spiritual knowledge “hey do you want to hangout?” Becasuse that question means “I love you,” “I don’t care what everyone else says, you’re still my brother/sister/cousin/daughter/son,” “I care for you enough to make time for you,” “I put you above my schedule and other things in my life,” “I miss you and want to see you,” “you are a priority for me that I want to see you face to face.” The prodigal son doesn’t need anyone else to judge them, they already judge themselves inside, whether they admit it to the outside world or not. What they need is somebody to love them so that they can see and experience first hand, not hear about it, the love of God from this person who loves them regardless.

The salvation message can’t be preached without a strong foundation of understanding. Without the Old Testament, how can we possibly understand the preparation for the New Testament? Without the law, the history, and the prophets, how can we understand the unconditional love through the forgiveness of sin? Without acknowledging our past of what a wretched sinner we are, how can we fully accept the perfect Christ? The worst sinner of all can turn out to be the most faithful servant among all. Look at Paul, what a great example! So again don’t judge them on where they’re at but love them back to where they should be. God may do something extraordinary from this experience to turn an ugly past into a bright future of breakthroughs to glorify Him in heaven and earth. The gospel message didn’t come to me immediately the first time I heard it. I didn’t accept the gift of salvation the first time I was “preached” on. A foundation was built for me and in me before I took that first step to follow Jesus by accepting Him into my life. That foundation was built from multiple branches that come from the vine of Christ: my parents in Wisconsin, my theology teacher in high school, the church retreat in Saint Louis, the church we attended in Green Bay, etc. Church is not where our salvation is based on; our salvation is based on Christ alone. Church is simply a social club to help build that foundation to help prepare us and make sure we’re ready when the moment of decision comes.

An evangelist with a high success rate is not the one with great preaching talent or persuasive skill. That’s the lucky one who meets people who already have a strong foundation built prior to that moment of decision. When there’s no foundation, the message won’t stick because it’s like building something on sand, which will collapse eventually. So the gospel message shouldn’t be delivered as a single moment of impulse but should be treated as a journey, a process, with love and patience. Don’t just preach the gospel immediately, but love them through the journey first to build that foundation of understanding and then preach the gospel when the moment of decision comes, when the foundation is strong enough for the prodigal son to make the right choice. When all of these people built the foundation in me, I didn’t even have a clue. I was simply loved through all of this. But these evangelists knew what they were doing when they planted the seed in me. Not till later when the moment of decision came and I made the right choice that these people saw the fruit of their work. Throughout the process of laying down this foundation, nobody knew how I would turn out; they simply had patience on me and loved me through the journey. What a beautiful thing to serve God! What a love! A love that is so big, so powerful, pure, beautiful, unconditional, magnificent, that the world desperately needs but knows not of. What a God! So perfect, righteous, holy yet so merciful, patient, loving, full of grace and truth.

Our understanding of God and our level of faith depend on the breadth and depth of our relationship with Him. Breadth is the quantity of how much we want God and how strong our desire to be closer to Him is. Depth is our experience of and with God through trials and how much spiritual growth we have gained throughout the journey of life. The power of love can be explained in the same way: quantity and quality. Quantity of love is how much we love God and how much we want God. Quality of love is the application of this desire to follow Him and serve Him; it’s the fruit of the spirit, the action of the heart, the hand of the mind, and the result of our faith.

Recently I learned a big lesson about the quality of love in corporate world. Yes even in the midst of the storm, in the ugliest place of the human heart, God’s light still shines despite the lies darkness put on and the schemes Satan plans. In corporate world, it’s very common and even expected for one to steal credit from another. All of us have stories of how our bosses take our credit as their own to present to the C-suite. Of course our boss climbs higher and higher in the corporate ladder and we continue to do the lowly work that everybody needs but nobody knows about. At first I was very frustrated when this happened to me until I seeked wisdom from my dad. Instead of supporting me to remain angry at my boss, my dad said something so profound: I should be rejoiced instead! At first I didn’t understand but then eventually I got it. My boss takes credit from me because he is insecured with his job. He can only rely on himself and the mercy of the executive to keep this job. The financial burden on him is also a lot more than me. He has a mansion; I live in a small apartment. He drives a fancy car; I have my 11-year-old Ivan. But I have something much much much better and way more valuable that he doesn’t have: I have GOD. I don’t rely on myself or anyone else to keep my job. Even better I rely on the Most High God. This is the God that parted the Red Sea for the Israelites; this is the God that gave Goliath into the hand of David; this is the God that raised Christ from the death; this is the God that moved the heart of a bunch of weak, hopeless men with His Spirit to change the world and spread the gospel. So from that logic, if He really wants me to keep this job, who would dare to say no to Him? Who would have the power to take this gift away from me?

Jesus taught us “so when you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honored by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you” (Matthew 6: 2-4). So that gave me an idea: what if we extend the application of this lesson to more than just giving? What if we apply this message to corporate world? So instead of being angry about my credit got stolen from me, I decided to voluntarily give my credit to my boss. I got on my knees and prayed to God that if this is His will, He would use me to make this poor man feel more secured in his job and be more happy in his life. Insecurity leads to worriness, worriness leads to anxiety, anxiety leads to anger and frustration, which when have their full effect, can destroy a family. I don’t want to see that happen to anybody because I experienced first hand how it destroyed my family. If he wants the credit that bad, why not let him have his reward? I don’t lose anything. And I already have my reward, a bigger better everlasting reward from above, the kind of reward the world desperately needs but knows not of. God knows my heart; He will reward me for my obedience to Him. But even if He doesn’t, that’s still ok too because I already have the reward: I already have Jesus, the rock of my world, the foundation of my faith. In corporate world language, if I already have a Mercedes, why would I be angry or jealous of somebody else’s Corolla? I might as well give him my Corolla because what I have is already much better with higher value. If I already have my reward from the God of heaven and earth, I might as well give him the tiny little credits from the world. So my dad was right; I should be rejoiced. I’m joyful and peaceful with this decision.

On the surface it may seem to be unfair, but that’s only temporary at the moment. Eventually the truth will come out. “Fire tests the purity of silver and gold, but the Lord tests the heart” (Proverbs 17:3). So if I’m the gold, why should I be afraid of fire? Instead I should be rejoiced because the fire will help me shine, prove my worth, and speak the truth about my identity. Using the same concept, I should rejoice and thank God for trials because every trial I receive is one step closer to Him. It’s hard to go through trials at the moment of the test, but the view on the other side is so much worth it. God is worth it, and being closer to Him, even just as small as an inch closer, is still worth it.

The trials of my life have brought me closer to Him and confirmed my identity in Christ. My faith has grown in way I could have never imagined. If I had never gone through the loss of my mom, the bankruptcy, and multiple times near deportation, I would not have had the kind of faith and courage I possess today. I probably would not have even known God. And I wouldn’t trade God and our relationship for anything, not even for my mom or to get my family back. Why? Simple, He’s worth it! “Anyone who loves their father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves their son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. Whoever does not take up their cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life for my sake will find it” (Matthew 10: 37-39). The process is very simple: Jesus told me to give up everything to follow Him. I said ok, took my cross, and follow. He says go to the left, I go to the left. He says go to the right, I go to the right. He says run, I run. He says fight, I fight. He says stop, I stop. He says wait, I wait. It’s not easy. Sometimes I get frustrated and just want to run away. Most of the times I complaint. Sometimes I even fight Him, which is bad for me anyway at the end. But through all of this, I didn’t put down my cross. I continue to take my cross; I continue to fight the battle; I continue to follow; I continue to love Him regardless. At first when I don’t get what I want, I always get frustrated and angry at Him. But then later on, I realize that it’s such a GOOD thing that He didn’t give me what I asked for. If He had let me win the lottery in the past two years, the green card process would have been delayed. If He had given me the job I settled and asked for, I wouldn’t have had this amazing job I do now.

In Luke 16, Jesus taught us about a shrew manager of how people of this world will know this world and play the game much better than us. To put it in today terms, they are at the PhD level of manipulation, lying, cheating, deception, lust, dishonesty, gossiping, back stabbing, and hence money making, whereas we as disciples of Christ are at the kindergarten level of all of the above. But what good is it to lose the soul and gain a bunch of zeros in the bank account or paper with dollar sign on it? There’s nothing wrong with money, but it’s wrong to put money above God; it’s wrong to play the game by the rule of this world; it’s wrong to climb the corporate ladder with a heartless mindset; it’s wrong to live our lives by the standard of man instead of the standard of God; it’s wrong to treat people by the selfishness and greed of the heart rather than the love of God. Money is fine, but the love of money is not. It’s the root of all evils.

“But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. Such “wisdom” does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice. But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace reap a harvest of righteousness” (James 3: 14-18). The wisdom of this world is the status quo expected in corporate world. That’s the same wisdom the shrew manager used in Luke 16 to earn his profit gain. The wisdom of God is the opposite. It’s by His standard, not man’s standard. It’s by his level of faith, not man’s corporate ladder. It’s based on love, not selfishness and greed. If I run a business school, everybody, regardless of their major, must learn the story in Luke 16 first before we can talk about other things in business. Without a solid foundation, all of the business achievements become meaningless and even harmful. That foundation is built upon Jesus Christ, the rightesous man of God, the Son of God, and God Himself in the flesh. Though none walk with me, still I will follow. If I’m the only one playing by His rule, I keep playing and staying in the game living by His standard. If I’m the only one carrying the cross, then ok that’ll make my shoulders stronger I suppose. No matter the cost, I just want to be with Him. If losing the world means gaining Him, I get a really good deal out of this then.

There are many things God has given me throughout all these years, both heavenly and earthly, that I’m grateful for all eternity. One of those is my dad. We’re not biologically related, and I only came to know him since I was 16. But when my life turned upside down and when I lost everything, he was there to lift me up, encourage me to follow my dreams, motivate me to never give up, and walk me toward Christ. I really hate the phrase “blood is thicker than water” because I experience first hand how that’s not true. Dad and I are not related by blood; we’re related as a family through Christ. The bond I have with dad is now even stronger than the one I have with my biological father because we have one thing that connects us that my biological father doesn’t have: Jesus. And Jesus makes all the difference! It’s a girl’s dream to marry a man like her dad. That goal is surely mine as well. But there’s a problem here. My dad is such a great man and a humble, dedicated servant of God that I don’t think any man can ever reaches that level, which probably explains why I’m still single! Obviously there are many things I like about my dad; one of them is how he speaks the truth in love.

We are the worst critique of ourselves because we know all of our thoughts, motives, deeds, and actions. People cannot see what we think inside our mind and how we feel inside our heart. People cannot see what we do in secret. But surely we know them all, and so does God. Because of that, only we know the sinful thoughts in our mind, the anger in our heart, the lust in our eyes, and the sinful actions we do in the dark when nobody is around. Because of that, we are our worst enemies. We push ourselves down, unintentionally and subconsciously even, because we know who we truly are, all of our secrets deep down inside. That’s why we need other people around us to show us the positive side and lift us up. And that’s exactly what my dad does for me all these years since we became a family. He speaks the truth in love to encourage me, to show me the right path to go, to convict me from my sin, to bring me back to God when I lose my way, and to bring me to the next level of intimate relationship with God. I learn, little by little, how to detect whether an advice comes from God or Satan. If the advice comes from God, even if the truth is painful and convicting, it’s still positive. God rebukes me, through the Holy Spirit in me and sometimes through other people around me, but that’s for my own benefits to stop sinning. There’s hope after all of the mess. It always lifts me up and shows me what to do to correct my mistakes. It always points me back to God, not my sin or my past. It’s about the present and the future. It’s about forgiveness to move forward from the past and present to the future. “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: the old has gone, the new is here!” (2 Corinthians 5:17). Whenever dad talks to me, he speaks with truth and love because his heart is filled with the Holy Spirit. So in a way, it’s not dad speaking to me. It’s God speaking to me using the Holy Spirit in his servant: my dad. When the advice comes from Satan, it’s the opposite: always negative, no hope, push me down, no clear actions to take to clean up the mess and get better, point back to the sin and not God, about the past not the present or future, full of pain with no way out, full of disappointment, guilt, shame, and condemnation. Conviction comes from the Holy Spirit; condemnation comes from Satan.

The key here is forgiveness, which is freely given to us all through the blood of Jesus. But we have to repent and ask for this forgiveness. The gift is freely given, but we have to accept it. There’s nothing we can do to earn forgiveness, but God won’t force us into accepting it either. The decision to repent and ask for forgiveness is a free choice that He allows us to make. Scripture gives us step-by-step instruction to detect the lie from the truth and recognize the source of where it comes from, whether it comes from God or Satan. “Dear friends, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, because many false prophets have gone out into the world. This is how you can recognize the Spirit of God: every spirit that acknowledges that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is from God, but every spirit that does not acknowledge Jesus is not from God. This is the spirit of the antichrist, which you have heard is coming and even now is already in the world” (1 John 4: 1-3). So if a spirit comes from God, the truth spoken must align with what Jesus has taught us, and it has to be spoken in love. So what did Jesus teach us then?

• “Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespasses against us. Lead us not into temptation but deliver us from the evil one” (Matthew 6: 12-13)
• “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins” (Matthew 6: 14-15)
• “Truly I tell you, people can be forgiven all their sins and every slander they utter, but whoever blasphemes against the Holy Spirit will never be forgiven; they are guilty of an eternal sin” (Mark 3: 28-29)
• “This is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins” (Matthew 26:28)
• “I told you that you would die in your sins; if you do not believe that I am he, you will indeed die in your sins” (John 8:24)
• “If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’ If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector” (Matthew 18: 15-17)
• “So watch yourselves. If your brother or sister sins against you, rebuke them; and if they repent, forgive them. Even if they sin against you seven times in a day and seven times come back to you saying ‘I repent,’ you must forgive them” (Luke 17: 3-4)
• “But very truly I tell you, it is for your good that I am going away. Unless I go away, the Advocate will not come to you; but if I go, I will send him to you. When he comes, he will prove the world to be in the wrong about sin and righteousness and judgment: about sin, because people do not believe in me; about righteousness, because I am going to the Father, where you can see me no longer; and about judgment, because the prince of this world now stands condemned. I have much more to say to you, more than you can now bear. But when he, the Spirit of truth, comes, he will guide you into all the truth. He will not speak on his own; he will speak only what he hears, and he will tell you what is yet to come. He will glorify me because it is from me that he will receive what he will make known to you. All that belongs to the Father is mine. That is why I said the Spirit will receive from me what he will make known to you” (John 16: 7-15)
• “You belong to your father, the devil, and you want to carry out your father’s desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies. Yet because I tell the truth, you do not believe me! Can any of you prove me guilty of sin? If I am telling the truth, why don’t you believe me? Whoever belongs to God hears what God says. The reason you do not hear is that you do not belong to God” (John 8: 44-47)

So many people, including me, complaint that they want to hear God’s voice but they just can’t hear it or maybe they can hear it but not clearly. Dad taught me something very important about hearing God’s voice. It’s more than just hearing His voice. It’s a responsibility. Before we can hear His voice, we do things our ways; we make our own decisions because nobody tells us what to do. After we hear God’s voice, now we are accountable for what He says and what He tells us to do. So hearing His voice is a responsibility where we are held accountable for the decision we make: to do it His way and give up control completely to Him or to walk away and do it our way. So the decision to give up control of ourselves and follow God completely to do things His way needs to be made first before our spiritual ears are open to hear His voice. Plus God talks to us constantly everyday, so when we don’t hear His voice, it’s not because He doesn’t speak to us; it’s simply because we don’t listen or we don’t know how to listen. Again to be able to hear His voice, we need to first make a decision to follow Him completely and do whatever He asks of us. Then if we’re serious about it and listen with our heart, He will open our spiritual ears so that we can hear Him.

Last Monday as I was having lunch with my mentor, he taught me two questions at the beginning and at the end of a sales pitch that a good salesman should always ask his prospective clients.

• Before the presentation: what are your goals?
• After the presentation: what are the best things you get from this presentation?

That inspired me to examine my faith and ask myself two questions.

• What are my priorities in life?
• What are the things I appreciate the most from God?

At Bible study that night, one of the girls raised a question of why some people want God but don’t see anything happening in their lives. That question reminded me of a story I read on Facebook. There is an ambitious young man striving for success but doesn’t know the direction toward his goal. So he comes to see an old wise man for answers. The old man tells him to come back the morning of the next day. When the young man arrives, the old man takes him to the middle of the river. When they are standing in the middle of the river, all of the sudden, the old man pushes the young man’s head beneath the water and drown him for a few seconds. The old man finally lets go. Confused, the young man wonders what just happened. The old man explains: “If you want success as bad as you want to breath, you will be successful. That’s the secret ingredient.”

Let’s replace the word “success” in this story with the word “God.” Many people say they want God, but how much do we really want God? Do we want God as much as we our successful career? Do we want Him as much as we want a good family, a beautiful body, and all of the powers we can get? When we want something really bad, we work for it. That’s the human instinct in us. When we put our career first on the priority list, we will fight with everything we have to climb that corporate ladder. No matter what’s or who’s in front of us, we will find a way to overcome and jump through each step to get to that position of power and financial gains. We will stay late in the office, work long hours, answers emails on the weekend, join all of the meetings, hang out with the right executives, make the right jokes, say the right things, and do the right things to get higher and higher in corporate world. When we put our physical beauty first, we will again fight with everything we have to get that perfect body. No matter what challenges are ahead, we will do everything we can to achieve that image. We will go to the gym for intensive workout everyday, go on the most healthy diets, take the best supplements for weight loss, pay for the best trainer, eat the right things, and do the right things. But how about God? Where is God on our priority list? When we say we want God, do we really want Him or do we just want what He can give us? Do we want His promises more than God Himself? Do we put the gifts above the giver? And if the answer is yes, we want God, then how much? Do we want God as bad as we want to breath as if we’re drowned in the water? Do we want God so bad that we will pay whatever price it costs to be closer to God and glorify Him? Do we want Him so bad that we will fight with everything we have to stay strong to His words and uphold His commands? My answer is yes I do want God. Months ago I didn’t want Him that bad, and He wasn’t number one on my priority list. But the moment I felt His unconditional love for me through the forgiveness of my sin, everything changed. I asked myself: do I want God more than I want the Mercedes, the penthouse, and even better Harvard? After that experience of unconditional love, my answer is yes I do. I want Him more than anything right now. I just want more and more and more of Him. All of the sudden one Bible study a week was not enough for me anymore, now I want to study the Bible on my own at home all the time. Prayer once a day was not enough for me anymore, now I want to talk to Him 24/7. Helping somebody once a while was not enough for me anymore, now I want to let Him use me whenever and wherever He sees fit for whoever He chooses in whatever situation He decides, and I want to do it with a servant heart toward God and God alone. That doesn’t mean I don’t want the Mercedes and the penthouse anymore, and it certainly doesn’t mean that I give up on my Harvard dream. But for me, it means that I will put all of those things below God. He is number one on my priority list, and after that, the list continues. So if I don’t get a Mercedes or a penthouse, that’s fine. If I don’t ever get in Harvard, that’s OK too. But if I don’t get closer to God, that’s a big no-no!

So many times when we face trials, we are constantly reminded at church to trust God. But what does it mean to trust God? And how do we trust God? The typical answer: that He has a great plan for us, that whatever happens His will is the best, and that even if He doesn’t answer our prayers the way we ask, it’s still working out for our good. That’s true, beautiful, and powerful. But I think we should take a step further and take it to the next level. To trust God also means to love Him and not get angry regardless of how the situation turns out. The math is simple: to trust God = to love God. This love has to be unconditional, meaning that whichever way He decides to answer our prayer, we love Him regardless. We don’t complaint, we don’t become anxious, and we don’t get mad at Him. “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres” (1 Corinthians 13: 4-7). Why don’t we replace the word “love” with the word “God” since after all God is love anyway? “Whoever does not love does not know God for God is love” (1 John 4:8).

God is patient, God is kind. He does not envy, He does not boast, He is not proud. He does not dishonor others, He is not self-seeking, He is not easily angered, He keeps no record of wrongs. God does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. He always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Again the math is simple: to trust God is to love God since love always trusts. At church and Bible studies, we always hear the message of unconditional love of how much God loves us. He loves us so much that He died for us on the cross. “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8). “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you servants because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you” (John 15: 13-15). “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life” (John 3:16). This message of how much God loves us is true, beautiful, and powerful. But I challenge us to take a step further to the next level and ask ourselves this question: do we love God back? Really do we love God? If so, how much? Only a little bit or unconditionally? Do we still love God if He stops giving us all of the physical, material things? Do we still love Him if He decides to answer all of our prayers the opposite of what we ask for? Again the math is simple: to trust God is to love God. So if things don’t go according to our plan and what we ask of Him, do we still love Him? Or do we get angry at Him? Do we get impatient and anxious? Or do we truly trust Him and whatever plans He has for us because we love Him unconditionally? Do we continue to put our faith and hope in Him? Or do we walk away? God’s love for us is a given, and we have the entire Bible to prove that. But our love for God is not guaranteed. It’s a decision each of us has to make everyday through each trial in our lives.

Seven months ago I asked God to help me win the H1B lottery so that I could move forward with my immigration process. And He said no. I never got that lottery after two years and three shots in the system. On the surface and in front of everybody, I told all of the people around me that I trust God. That I know His plans are better and that this is for my own good. I recited Bible verses in my head with the motto of fake it to make it. Well it didn’t work. My mind told me to trust Him, but my heart wasn’t following. Even after He revealed to me why He said no to my request and how this rejection would turn out for my good (which it did), I was still mad at him. My pride got in the way. I was so angry at Him because He said no. I was confused, and I wanted the answer my way. My anger blinded my faith and my judgment. I got so mad at God that I gave in to temptation and committed to sin. Thankfully, He took me back with His unconditional love through the forgiveness of my sin. The power of what Jesus did on the cross that day has washed away my sin, white as snow. And for that I’m grateful for all eternity. Now looking back, I realize at that time when God didn’t answer my prayer the way I requested it, I blindly trusted God with my mind. I was trying to fake it till I make it. But my heart wasn’t right. My heart didn’t trust even when my mind was trying to. I knew that I was supposed to trust God, but I didn’t know how to trust Him the right way. The secret ingredient is love. Simple yet powerful! To trust Him and His plans regardless of the situations, I must love Him first. And I must love Him unconditionally with all my heart. So when things go the other way, I shouldn’t be angry. I should rejoice that He has a nice surprise for me ahead. I should be excited for it, not become anxious, ungrateful, and doubtful. “Faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see” (Hebrews 11:1).

My dad once told me an old song “If I were a carpenter, would you still love me?” Jesus was a carpenter. He didn’t guarantee financial or physical rewards. He only promised the healing of the souls and spiritual rewards. So do we still love Him then? For me, I do. Growing up in Vietnam and watching Chinese movies, I was taught that love is not a feeling. Love instead is a decision; it’s a commitment and a responsibility. Feelings come and go, but the decision to commit and the responsibility that comes with this commitment stay the same. I apply that principle to the love I have for God. I make a conscious decision everyday to love God. Because I love Him, I commit myself to walk with Him and follow Him wherever He leads me. And because of this commitment, I have a responsibility to follow through and persevere with my decision to love God. I don’t work for Him because I want Him to love me more or to earn my salvation. I know that He loves me the same regardless of what I do, and that my salvation is a free gift from God alone, not by works. I serve God simply because I love Him, for who He is. Just pure love. It’s my decision, my commitment, and my responsibility for Him. Seven months ago when trial came, I failed because my love for God wasn’t enough. I don’t know when the next test will come, but when it does, I want to be prepared. And I want to make sure that my love for God will be enough for me to pass the test, to trust Him completely, and to love Him unconditionally. At the same time, God demonstrates His love for us through decisions as well. He didn’t create us as robots to worship Him. Since the beginning, knowing the possibility of sin, He gave us freedom to choose, to make a decision to love Him and have fellowship with Him. If there’s no freedom, there’s no true love. But because there’s freedom, love is a decision by choice, not a mandate by force or a fluctuating feeling by chance. “Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth” (1 John 3:18).

So that answers the first question regarding the priorities of my life. The second question is based on the first one. One time at Bible study I asked my teacher why Paul gave up everything he had to proclaim the gospel. My teacher said she believed that Paul never got over his salvation. So that brought me to my second question. What are the things that God has given me that mean so much for me that I still can’t get over until this day. There are two: my scholarship to college and His unconditional love. When I was 18, God saved my life. He gave me a full scholarship to college, and I didn’t get deported. It’s already been five years, and I still can’t get over it; nor do I want to get over it. I have already graduated, but I’m still grateful for that scholarship everyday. And I will never forget what He has done for me that day during the darkest time of my life. Because of that, I have been tutoring students for almost five years and just recently started an annual scholarship fund for other international students to make their American dreams come true. The amount is small, but I believe with all my heart that through time, as long as I continue to humbly walk with God and put Him first on my priority list, He will multiply that amount and use the scholarship fund to bless many more people. The math is simple: God uses my dad to bless me, so I will let Him use me to bless somebody else; then hopefully that person will allow God to bless another one after them; the number will multiple, and the cycle goes endlessly. I have three dreams in my life 1) Harvard dream for my mom to graduate from an Ivy League school. This is the reason that brought me to America and also my mom’s dream for me before she passed away 2) American dream for me to finally one day become a citizen. I love this nation and truly believe this is the best country on earth 3) education dream for God to create a scholarship fund to bring foreign students to this land to make their dreams come true. The scholarship that God has given me was so big; it meant so much for me that until this day I still can’t get over it. And I just want to give back more and more and more for Him.

The second gift that I still can’t get over is His conditional love. After I have tasted and experienced first hand the power of His love upon me, I was speechless. I knew the laws. I had the knowledge. I had the words of God in Scripture to support me. I heard the Holy Spirit telling me to walk away. Yet I listened to Satan’s sweet whispers of lies in my ears. I deliberately chose to sin against God. But the moment I repented and turned back toward Him, He was right there all along the way. I ran away, yet He stayed with me. I sinned against Him, yet He forgave me completely. I failed into temptation, yet He remained faithful. I made the decision to violate His law, yet He died for me on the cross. I deserved to be stoned to death, yet His only response was “go and sin no more.” I got so angry at Him, yet He loved me the same as if it has never happened. Love like this made me speechless. I was so overwhelmed by His love that until this day, I still can’t get over it. Because of this, I decided to write this blog to glorify His name, to testify all of the good things He has done for me, and share with others the knowledge I have received. The more I know God, the more I want to know more about Him. I’m so caught up and overwhelmed by His love that I just want to have more and more of Him. I just want to be closer to Him, to understand Him more, and know Him better. I just can’t get over it!

The phrase “speak the truth in love” from the verse “Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ” (Ephesians 4:15) is one of the many verses that have been misused a lot in the world today, both inside and outside the church. Most people stop at the “speak the truth in love” part and never finish the verse to “grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.” The purpose of speaking the truth in love has to be growth, meaning that whatever we say to our brothers and sisters in Christ, it should lift up them to help them grow. If the purpose is not right, the consequences are negative, and the action is not just. To speak the truth in love is not just how you say it, it’s also why you say it. What is your intent to speak that truth to your brothers and sisters? Is it to lift them up or put them down? Is it to serve you or God and the other person? If a brother is growing and serving God and you get jealous, you may point out to them their negative traits and sins in the past. When that happens, you may want to ask yourself: by me saying these things, am I helping them to grow? Do I lift them up? Is my heart right with God? Is my motive pure for saying these things? Does my intent come from jealousy or compassion and love?

The first part “speak the truth” has to be dealt with carefully. It’s ok to point out the negative aspects of the individual, but again is it for a good purpose? If a brother is sinning, it’s our duty to point it out to him. Conviction is hard. It hurts but it also brings a sense of joy and peace because there’s a hope of forgiveness through Christ. If the brother wants to improve a certain skill or if he’s not doing something so well, it’s ok to point it out what you think can help him improve. So that’s the good kind of speaking the truth. However, if we bring up the sins in the past, we may do so because we listen to Satan’s lies out of our jealousy and anger toward the brother. Once we sincerely confess our sin and ask God for forgiveness, the blood of Christ washes the sin away. It’s gone, deleted, forgotten, erased, washed away, past tense, no more, as if the sin has never happened. The only one that will ever bring it up again is Satan to hurt us, to make us feel guilty and shameful because he cannot stand the fact that we have gone back to God and turned away from that sin. God will NEVER bring it up again to hold us accountable for that sin. So when you “speak the truth” by pointing out somebody’s past sin, you’re not doing God’s will. You’re doing the opposite of God’s will, you’re doing Satan’s will because you listen to Satan’s lies instead of God’s voice. Another way this is misused is when we point out the negativity of an individual for no good reason. For example, if a brother is called to teach a Bible study, you may get jealous and give him all of the reasons why he’s not a good fit for the job: he’s shy, not good at public speaking, not have enough knowledge, too young for the job, etc. These things may be true, so you can cover it by saying you’re speaking the truth. But in reality, the action is unjust because you’re not doing this to help him grow and to serve God. You’re doing this to bring him down out of your jealousy and anger.

That leads to the second part of the verse: IN LOVE. Every good thing we do has to be in love. Otherwise, there’s no meaning. “If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres” (1 Corinthians 13: 1-7). So when we speak the truth to somebody (point out their sin, negativity, or anything else), we have to ask ourselves the following questions based on this instruction from God:

•  What is the intent of the truth you’re speaking? Does it come from love or jealousy and anger?
• Do you speak out of faith in God or faith in yourself?
• Do you speak up to help the brother or to boast about yourself? Do you lift them up? Or do you put them down so that you can feel better about yourself, so that you can be above them, so that you can satisfy your pride and jealousy?
• Are you being patient?
• Are you being kind?
• Are you jealous and prideful? Is it about your ego or their growth?
• Does it put them down to boast you up?
• Do you listen to God’s voice or Satan’s whisper of lies to your ears when you speak the truth?
• Do you protect them from sins, harm, and lies?
• Do you give them hope?
• Do you encourage them to persevere?

Most of the times we don’t realize the power of the tongue. Words can encourage and lift somebody up, but at the same time they can destroy an individual. God calls for unity; Satan calls for division. The devil can whisper lies into our ears to turn us against each other. He doesn’t like Christians, and his goal is to tear us apart. Sometimes when we’re not careful, we become his assistant by listening to his lies and acting it out. When a brother is serving God and you speak the truth out of jealousy, a couple things happen. First, you probably listen to Satan’s lies and actually believe it. So between you and God, you need to reconcile by turning away from Satan, closing your ears on him, and instead listening to God’s voice. Second, between you and the brother, you have done him wrong. So you need to come to him and ask for his forgiveness. Third, between the brother and God, he needs to ignore what you say and only listen to what God says. This is the test of his faith. Will he listen to his friend or his God? The book of Job is a good example here. Will he persevere and continue to do God’s work: teach a Bible study, lead a ministry, join the worship team, serve for a great cause, etc.? Or will he have a self-pity party and quit? That’s the decision we each have to make. And when you make these decisions, ask yourself this:  when I stand before God and see Him face to face, what kind of discussions will we have about the decision I make today?

A good friend, also a sister in Christ, recently “spoke the truth” to me out of jealousy. It was discouraging, and it hurt. I cried about it and asked God for direction. It didn’t take Him long to answer that prayer. Immediately the Holy Spirit delivered the truth in many ways; all of them are in love! So I chose to ignore what my friend said; I chose to serve God by teaching the Bible study.

Jesus, throughout His journey on earth, constantly talked about love, especially the concept of love your enemy. “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven” (Matthew 5:43-45). Well this is definitely easier said than done. How am I supposed to love those who persecute me? They surely don’t deserve it. That goes back to another issue: why does God love us when we so don’t deserve it? When we sin, we become enemy of God. Yet He loves us so much that He died for us on the cross to bring us back to Him, to have fellowship with Him like how it was designed to be at the beginning of time in the Garden. If He loves us that much, then who are we not to love our enemy? “We love because he first loved us” (1 John 4:19).

Joyce Meyer was sexually abused by her own father, yet when she became an adult, she treated him with love and care. She helped him with the house, brought him back to her life, and took care of him as a regular loving daughter. How did she do that? The families of the victims killed by the shooting in Charleston stood up in court, spoke to the judge, and told the murderer they have forgiven him. How did they do that? Obviously this kind of love cannot come from this world. This kind of love is so big that the world knows not of. This kind of love, or if I may call unconditional love, comes only from God above. Only He can love like that. And because He loved Joyce, she loves her father. Because He loved the families of the victims, they too love the shooter. This love is contagious, like a domino effect. Once we have received and tasted how wonderful this unconditional love is from God, we can’t help it but spreading it around to love and forgive others, even those who don’t deserve but desperately need it more than anything.

That’s the true meaning behind love your enemy. It’s more than just saying hi to the kids we don’t like at schools, staying cordial with the colleagues and bosses we can’t tolerate at work. Love your enemy is taking action to actually love and forgive others, especially those that hurt us and persecute us. It’s the choice we have to make every day to love and to forgive. During the most difficult time of my life when my mom passed away and my dad went bankrupt and ran away, one of my uncles said the most hurtful thing to me, blaming the death of my mom on me, the 17-year-old teenager at the time. It wasn’t nice what he said. But I have to make a conscious decision every day to love and forgive him. Not because I’m righteous and perfect, but simply because God loves me and forgives me every day. If He loves me that much, the least I can do is to love somebody else. If God forgives me for all of my sins when I become his enemy, the least I can do is to forgive my own enemies.

The first time I got to know God is through the power of prayer and faith when He provided and rescued me out of my despair and hopelessness. I knew at that time that He is the Almighty God who can do anything. He can move the mountain, part the sea, and do what man calls impossible. Since then my journey with God has been great. I was taught at church and countless Bible studies about love and what it means in the Christian context. At one of the Bible study, we were examining the difference between Philos (brotherly love between man) and Agape (unconditional love from God). But it’s not until I faced the most scary trial of my life that I really understood and felt God’s unconditional love for the first time. Out of my fear, shame, and guilt, I received His unconditional love through the forgiveness of sin. And I’m eternally grateful for that. How He could look at me blameless and call me righteous I will never understand. But I know that the moment I sincerely asked for forgiveness, forgiveness was given to me freely, and He looked at me as if I have never sinned. “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9).

I understand the concept of salvation with my mind, but that unconditional love touched my heart and made me truly appreciate what Jesus did for me on the cross that day. I don’t deserve any of it, yet He still died for me, forgives me, and loves me anyway. The love like this is so big that the world knows not of. Throughout my journey with God and even before I knew Him, He has provided many many blessings for me and got me through so many trials. But the two things that I still cannot get over until this day are the scholarship to college that saved my life and His unconditional love through the forgiveness of sin. These gifts are are like fire burning inside my heart to show me how much He loves me and that I need to do something to give back what He has done for me. No matter how many people I touch, how many good works I do, it will never be enough comparing to what He has given me. But I have to share this love that I freely and gratefully receive, desperately need, but never deserve.

John 8 tells the story about a woman committed adultery. By the Law of Moses, she would be stoned to death, and she deserved it. That’s the consequence of her sin, the decision she made for her life. But all Jesus said was “go and sin no more.” It didn’t mention in Scripture how she felt at that time, but I can only imagine: fear, shame, guilt, and unconditional love at the same time. It didn’t mention in the text but I assume that deep down inside, she really regretted her sin, disgusted by it, never ever wanted to do it again, and desperately asked God for His forgiveness. And then her prayer got answered. She was forgiven; her sin was washed white as snow as if it has never happened at the first place. Her sin was forgiven, deleted, erased, forgotten, washed away, gone, no more. I deserve to be stoned to death, but all He said was “go and sin no more.” We deserve to be stoned to death, but He voluntarily took that burden on Himself that day when He walked to the cross.

When we sincerely ask for the forgiveness of our sin and never ever want to do it again, as long as we are SINCERE about it, God already forgives us. He will look at us blameless and righteous as if it has never happened, just as He looked at Christ because we are covered under the blood of Jesus. God will never bring it back and hold us accountable for that sin anymore. The only one that will ever bring it back to accuse us of the sin, to make us feel shameful, guilty, filthy, and unworthy is Satan. His goal is to steal, kill, and destroy Christians. So when the moment comes, we have to stay strong and believe in God’s word when He told us He has already forgiven us. Spiritual warfare will take place as we serve God; trials are promised to us as we start our walk with God and give our lives to Him. “Dear friends, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that has come on you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice inasmuch as you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed” (1 Peter 4: 12-13). When I started serving God to bless somebody else, immediately spiritual warfare took place. Satan reminded me of the sin in the past and whispered his lies in my ears about why I’m not worthy to serve God by serving others. Constantly I had to remind myself the verse in 1 John 1:9 to continue my mission to serve God. Our lives are the battlefield, and we should expect that the moment we give our lives to Christ and follow Him. But the good news here is that Christ has already won the battle, overcome Satan and this world. So we just have to continue the fight, faithfully submit to God, knowing that victory is already on our side.