It’s quite an obvious truth that the world we live in is unfair. Over and over again, from the justice system to the current pandemic, we clearly see the difference between the rich and the poor, the well-educated and the uneducated. But at the same time, the world is also fair. Coronavirus doesn’t discriminate to favor one group over another. To answer the question whether the world is fair is quite a daunting task, and I don’t know the answer. But there’s one thing I know for sure: as I started my journey to walk with God, my world has always been, currently is, and will always be fair. It may sound selfish but at the end of the day, whether the world is fair really doesn’t matter to me. The only thing that matters is that my world is fair. It has always been fair because God is my judge. God is fair, and since He’s my judge, my world is fair. In my world, I have never seen anyone working hard and not having enough. God always provides, and God is perfectly fair. “I have seen something else under the sun: The race is not to the swift or the battle to the strong, nor does food come to the wise or wealth to the brilliant or favor to the learned; but time and chance happen to them all” (Ecclesiastes 9:11). With time, I have seen justice to prevail as goodness is celebrated and evil is punished. It takes time of course, but at the end, justice is upheld, always.

When I reflect upon my life, I realize that as obstacles in life increase, my rewards also increase as long as I remain faithful to walk with God.

The graph below probably explains why we think the world is unfair when it actually is fair. The red line is how I view my life, and the gray line is whom I compare myself to. I wasn’t fortunate to be born in America and didn’t get a chance to go to a feeder school to get into the Ivy League for undergrad. I didn’t get a chance to even apply to the top industries that only recruit from Ivy League and top colleges. So I suppose my starting point is lower than my peers. But over time, I work harder than anyone else I know. In college, I can’t think of one other student at school who worked harder than me, both academically and professionally. If an assignment took an hour to get an A-, I worked two hours to get an A+. If one internship was enough to satisfy the school requirement, I did five to finally get a green card. My reward is not only the green card but also an Ivy League education. Yale is a dream coming true. It didn’t happen in the first year or second year after I came to America. It happened after 10+ years with many sacrifices, countless tears, and one obstacle after another along the way. But that’s why it’s fair. I worked hard, so now I’m enjoying the fruit of my labor. As I finished my first year at Yale, I’m beyond thankful for this blessing God has provided me. With that hope and gratefulness, I look forward to another great year ahead. When we look at the graph above, if we only look at the starting point, of course the world is unfair. But as we look at the whole picture, the world suddenly becomes fair. Whoever works harder will receive more. I don’t know if this is true for the whole world. I only know that this is true in my world where God is the judge. “For the Lord is our judge, the Lord is our lawgiver, the Lord is our king; it is he who will save us” (Isaiah 33:22). “So we make it our goal to please him, whether we are at home in the body or away from it. For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each of us may receive what is due us for the things done while in the body, whether good or bad” (2 Corinthians 5: 9-10).

When it comes to fairness in life, the law of cause and effect governs it all. The outcome in life is the sum of all consequences of our series of decisions. A successful man is the one considering the consequences prior to deliberately making the decisions. It’s also necessary to know thy self: I know what I want and how to get there. I’m willing to work hard, sacrifice for it, and do whatever it takes to get what I want. This is great advice, but this is also the worldly view. The godly view, I believe, is just like that plus one additional thing: know thy God. When my faith is strengthened, my relationship with God is also getting stronger. Then I can clearly listen to the Holy Spirit in me to follow God’s guidance. At that moment, I know what I want because God put that desire in my heart. When I reflect upon my life, God put one desire after another in my heart and open each door one by one for me: coming to the US, scholarship to college, green card, Yale, my American dream. “Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, ‘This is the way; walk in it’” (Isaiah 30:21).

If life is a choice, then happiness is also a choice. It’s necessary for us to understand the difference between happiness and joy. The moment we accept Jesus in our lives and start to walk with God, He guarantees us heavenly peace, joy, and strength from above. But He doesn’t necessarily guarantee happiness. Happiness, however, is still within our control to choose to accept or reject it despite how life treats us. When my second internship got cancelled, there was fear and anxiety in my mind as I looked ahead at the full-time recruiting process for next year during the projected upcoming recession. But God calmed me down and reminded me of all things He has done. Why should I worry? God has proven Himself to be trustworthy. He opens one door after another. He always provides. Why would it change this time? It wouldn’t because God never changes. I will be just fine. So instead of anxiety and fear, I replaced them with both personal and professional achievements during this quarantine period. Regarding my personal achievements, for starter, I lost 10 lbs. and still have 10 more to go this summer. I learn to know thy self as God has taught me many valuable lessons about myself. I love the important people in my life, but I didn’t know how to love them well and love them right until God showed me and taught me, as how Christ loves me. Regarding my professional achievements, I spent this time to connect with people in the industry to prepare for full-time recruiting. I also helped five classmates to get internships. My mentor once taught me that individually, we can move faster, but together we can move farther. These five classmates wouldn’t have had the internships if the pandemic had not happened. A threat can also be an opportunity. This experience reminded me of the story of Joseph. When he faced his brothers, who sold him into slavery, Joseph not only forgave them but also calmed them down, helped them, and glorified God’s name. “But Joseph said to them, ‘Don’t be afraid. Am I in the place of God? You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. So then, don’t be afraid. I will provide for you and your children. And he reassured them and spoke kindly to them” (Genesis 50: 19-21). Unlike Joseph, I didn’t save any lives. But I’m thankful that God used the pandemic that was meant to be harmful to give me an opportunity to serve Him by supporting my classmates with their careers. At the end, God’s name is glorified. Sometimes we forget how massive and powerful God is. He works not only on each of us individually but also all things together in the system as a whole. When He blesses me with my individual successes, He also uses me and my successes to help others. Like a chain reaction, His system works perfectly. God is the best engineer in the world. Through all of this, it’s been proven that God is still alive today. Miracles are still happening at the present, not just in the past in Bible time.

During this quarantine time, I also learn to appreciate each moment and enjoy life to the fullest. As I reflect upon the first year of my MBA experience at Yale, I have one regret. My biggest regret in business school that this pandemic has revealed to me is the fact that I didn’t enjoy my college experience to the fullest. I worried too much, and I focused too much on recruiting that I didn’t do what I intended to do at business school. I missed the fall dance for an unnecessary recruiting event. Spring dance was cancelled, so I suppose I have to wait till next year to attend the fall dance, if it’s still happening since we don’t know if school will be open in the fall.    

If life is a choice, then our career path is also a choice. From working for four years in private equity, I notice the difference between the aggressive path and the good path. The aggressive path is built upon greed whereas the good path is built upon God’s law and principles. Which path to choose affects not only our family, spouses, kids, but most importantly, it determines our characters. I remember when my COO retired, there was a line of people lining up to say goodbye. That day I counted, and we had at least one person in each department crying over his farewell. This godly man left a legacy behind as he chose the good path, the godly path and stayed away from the aggressive path, the greedy path. From this man, I learn to do good as I do well. That’s one of the main reasons I chose Yale comparing to other b-schools because I also believe in the mission to educate leaders for business and society. But you may ask, is this a correlation or causation? Is it a coincidence that this good man happens to be a Christian? I don’t think so. I don’t believe this is a coincidence. He’s a good man because he follows Christ. And that’s why this former COO of mine is also my role model. I aspire to be like him in my career. I want to follow God as He leads me on my career path. I want to glorify Him to do good as I also do well. “Then Jesus said to his disciples, ‘Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it. What good will it be for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul? Or what can anyone give in exchange for their soul? For the Son of Man is going to come in his Father’s glory with his angels, and then he will reward each person according to what they have done’” (Matthew 16: 24-27). As each of us carries our cross for Christ, we can encourage one another on this journey. We each need a Timothy behind us to mentor, a Peter alongside of us to encourage, and a Paul ahead of us to learn from. This former COO and my dad are the Paul in my life on my journey toward Christ. As they carry their own crosses, they help me and serve as role model for me to carry my cross.

Regarding how to choose the right career path, the world says to choose the most prestigious, the most glamorous, and the richest path. But then are you happy with this choice? To elevate this question, are you joyful and peaceful on this path? Well this is actually a trick question because joy and peace are internal. They come from Christ alone and are not affected by external factors caused by the environment around us. If we don’t have peace and joy, then something is wrong from the inside. Perhaps this job or this career disturb our internal relationship with God. If that’s the case, this job or career is not the disease but rather symptoms for a much worse internal disease: separation between us and God. I’m very blessed in a way that God has chosen my path thus far for me, and I plan to follow this same structure. Why fix something if it’s not broken? God leads, and I follow. It’s as simple as that. I look back at the past and am thankful for all He has done. With this hope, I look forward to another great year ahead knowing that God has everything under control. He’s not just the God of the universe; He’s also the God of my universe. He’s not just the judge of this world; He’s also the judge of my world. But the best part of all is that He is my heavenly father. Full of love, grace, mercy, hope, and forgiveness.     

As I was watching the movie “Case for Christ,” so many memories came alive as if I was watching another movie in my head, the movie of how I myself came to Christ. The scene that touched my heart the deepest is the baptism scene because I remember when I got baptized, that was during the worst, the most hopeless, and the darkest time of my life. That was the time when I lost everything, including the family I loved and held so dearly in my heart. That was also the time when fear was the strongest, the fear of deportation. Nevertheless, I decided to get baptized at that moment because I thought if I got deported at that time, it would be a lot more difficult to get baptized in Vietnam, so let’s do that in America when I still had a chance. Little did I know that one single decision in the midst of all the chaos and fear completely changed my life. A few months after my baptism, I got a full scholarship to college, which saved my dreams. That was the first time I learned the power of prayer. Another extremely valuable lesson I learned from that experience is the procedure of how trials work and how our faith is constantly tested. Before the rainbow, the storm is always the scariest, and the rain is always the heaviest. It’s always been that way. But the good news is that the rainbow will come, the storm will calm down, and the rain will stop. Before Joseph got to the high court, he was mistreated, betrayed by his own family, and sold into slavery. Before Daniel glorified God’s name, he experienced exile as a prisoner of Babylon. The ultimate example of this is that before Christ resurrected and claimed his reward at the throne of heaven, he was crucified on the cross. So perhaps the more difficult it gets, the closer we are to our reward. Perhaps the severity of our trials reveals the magnificence of what’s waiting ahead of us: a reward from God. If that’s the case, when we face trials in life, perhaps we should do something so unconventional and irrational that the world will call us crazy: we should get excited, we should celebrate, for we have a certainty, a guaranteed hope that our reward is worth the price we have to pay.

When I was 15, I left everyone and everything behind in Vietnam, including my own family, to come to America. I came to this country with a dream: an Ivy League education, a dream toward Harvard. Little did I know, more than 10 years later, this dream finally came true. It’s not Harvard, that’s ok. It’s actually Yale instead. One month before I got the congratulation call from Yale, there was one trial after another. It felt as if the trials would never end. I almost got into a car accident on a typically rainy day in Florida. I couldn’t see anything outside the windshield, and it was quite a scary moment. Work got intense with new projects and colleagues. I kept failing my test no matter how hard I studied for the exam. Every single day was a struggle, full of anxiety and multiple negative what-if scenarios in my mind. Yet something is different this time. Through all of this, I felt hope. After going through many trials with God, I learn the secret. I know the drill. Before a big reward, the trials are always at their worst because that’s the price to pay. If the reward ahead of us is not that awesome, Satan wouldn’t be fighting this hard. So there’s a positive correlation between the two entities: the more difficult the trials, the better the reward. In this case, suffering is an assurance that the answer is a yes. From this experience, I finally understand what it means in Hebrews 11:6 “and without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.”

I wonder if this is how the disciples felt in the New Testament when they were in prison, mistreated, persecuted, crucified upside down, beheaded, sawed into two, stoned to death, and burned at the altar. As they faced these trials, were they also excited? If so, did they get excited because they focused solely on the reward ahead of them? After all, Christ guaranteed that this journey will be difficult. There’s a price to pay to accept and follow Christ. The price is always high, but the good news is that the reward is worth the price. The road of a disciple is always frustrating, scary, and sometimes lonely, full of obstacles because the path to the kingdom of God is so narrow whereas the path to hell is wide open. But the trophy is always worth it. God guarantees the reward is worth the price, so discipleship, after all, is a beautiful journey. “Be on your guard; you will be handed over to the local councils and be flogged in the synagogues” (Matthew 10:17). “You will be hated by everyone because of me, but the one who stands firm to the end will be saved. When you are persecuted in one place, flee to another. Truly I tell you, you will not finish going through the towns of Israel before the Son of Man comes” (Matthew 10:22-23). I personally really enjoy Matthew 10 because that chapter is a very transparent contract between God and us. If we accept the responsibility as His disciples, He makes it very clear that suffering is guaranteed. But He also makes certain that the reward is worth it at the end. So I’m proud to call myself a disciple of God. I’m honored to be called a Christ ambassador. And I’m humble for this opportunity to be used by God as His servant, for I so don’t deserve this. I know at least one person, the apostle Paul, agreed with me that as disciples, we should be excited for trials and that it’s a great honor to endure trials, to suffer for Christ. When Paul wrote to the Philippians, he confirmed to them this message. “For it has been granted to you on behalf of Christ not only to believe in him, but also to suffer for him, since you are going through the same struggle you saw I had, and now hear that I still have” (Philippians 1:29-30). Now I understand why every time I do something to serve God and glorify His name, from encouraging a fellow believer to publicly proclaiming His message, something bad always happens. In a way, this is fair. If there’s no price to pay, if following Christ requires no sacrifice, if working for God is so easy, how can we expect such a big reward at the end? If it were too easy, it wouldn’t be as much fun.

Being a disciple is amazing, rewarding, and fun. But that doesn’t shield us from temptation. The moment we accept Christ, we don’t automatically become immune to sin. I wish we did though. In the past eight years walking with God, I learn that the best strategy to handle any temptation is to run first, and if we absolutely can’t escape from it, then we fight and face this temptation, knowing and praying that God will equip us with His strength to stay righteous. As it’s our natural instinct to flee from danger, it should also be our spiritual instinct to flee from temptation, for temptation may lead to sin, and sin is a barrier between us and God. Just as we flee from temptation to protect our human relationship, we must also avoid temptation at all cost to protect our relationship with God. Even a slightest possibility of sin is not worth the risk of hurting our relationship with God. No good things on earth, no treasure, no pleasure is ever worth it.

When Jesus predicted his own death to the disciples, Peter was so certain that he would defend his master. We know how the story was unfold. Peter failed and denied Christ. From this story, I learn that our faith, no matter what level of discipleship we are at, is so fragile, so vulnerable, so easy to be broken. Thus, it’s so crucial that we constantly guard our faith. It’s so crucial that instead of trying to resist or fight temptation directly, we should first attempt to escape from it. And if we can’t, then we fight because God knows that we’re strong enough to fight this particular temptation. “So if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don’t fall! No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it” (1 Corinthians 10:12-13).

If you’re reading this article, I encourage you to focus on the reward at the end of the journey and get excited for every trial you’re suffering through. I encourage you to flee temptation at all cost, and if you absolutely can’t escape from it, have hope that God knows you can stand firm and that He will equip you with His strength to fight against this temptation. I encourage you to accept the job of a disciple if God has called you to take on this responsibility. The price to pay is high, but I can guarantee you that the reward is worth it because this is God’s promise to us. Finally, I encourage you to consider baptism if you have not already done so. It’s an honor, a privilege, and a blessing to be able to publicly proclaim your faith. It has completely changed my life, and I’m sure it will also change yours. That one particular decision to get baptized during the worst time of my life led me to become the disciple that I am today. Looking back, there were so many things and people I have lost, but I don’t regret it at all. If I could go back in time, I would still choose to get baptized. I would still choose to be a disciple of God. I would still choose to accept and follow Christ, despite all the costs. It’s been a beautiful, fulfilling journey to be His disciple, and I look forward to many more challenging, yet exciting years to come. So I also encourage you to take on this journey with me to be God’s disciple.

Recently at a Bible study, someone shared the struggles he’s facing and mentioned the upcoming test he has to face. I asked if he knows how to pass the small quizzes because before each test, there will be small quizzes. This is something I learn from experience and talking to my dad helps to clarify the lesson. The first test I took was the loss of my mom; this was the test of pain and I learned God’s power through the trial. The second test I took was my own sin; this was the test of shame and I learned God’s unconditional love through the forgiveness of sin. The first one was more painful, but the second one was more difficult because when shame got mixed with fear, guilt, and regret, there was no word to describe how awful it felt at that moment. At the lowest point of my life, when I had nowhere else to run, when shame overwhelmed my mind, when guilt put a chain around my heart, when I was in deep despair and fear, God reached out to me. He told me that He forgave me and loved me regardless. That love brought me back home! God is the ultimate source of love. “Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love” (1 John 4: 7-8).

The experience gained from these two tests taught me two lessons: 1) We need to CONSTANTLY GUARD OUR FAITH 2) Before the big test comes, there will be small quizzes along the way to help us learn the materials, equip us with the knowledge needed, and prepare us for the big moment when the test comes. We can’t predict when the test will come, what we will be tested on, and what price we have to pay to get to the next level of faith and understanding of God. Though we can’t predict, we can still prepare. I learn the secrets to prepare for the test: to remain humble with a servant heart and to set my priorities straight with God on top of the list. For example, now that I have the green card in my hands, do I boast about myself and the great work I have done to get myself to where I am today? Do I boast about my own strength, determination, and intelligence? No I dare not. Instead I boast about God, the one who delivered this gift into my hands, the one who fought this battle for me and with me. I’m nothing but a servant of His; only the master deserves the glory, not me. This is the opportunity for pride to come in and take my focus off God. When I’m standing on the top of the mountain, it’s easy to look around at the beautiful scenes and look inside to praise me. But I must not forget to always look upward to glorify and thank God. I can’t let my pride overshadow my faith. So after the green card came, I made two to-do lists, one for me and one for God, and these are the observations I see a couple days later:

My List:

• I see the green card as the victory of the battle
• I see my future with Northwestern and Harvard
• I chase after my American dream
• My list includes little things like getting a new driver license (only immigrants will get this one), buying new sneakers
• My list uses me as the center
• I want to run as fast as I can toward all my dreams that were put on hold during this process

His List:

• He sees spiritual growth as the important matter of faith
• He sees His master plan for my life, something I honestly know not of
• He looks at my heart and wants me to have a humble servant heart
• His list includes heavy to-dos like reconciling with relatives to resolve problems in the past
• His list revolves around Him
• He wants me to glorify Him by loving and serving others as I love and serve Him first

So these observations help to put me on my toes to constantly guard my faith and make sure I set my priorities right. For instance, if after the green card, I spend more time studying the GRE than the Bible, that means I put Harvard above God. Typically, when that happens, I will be distracted and loosen up my faith. I learn that when we are weak and distracted from God, Satan will grab that opportunity (he’s constantly watching us) to start his schemes of attacks. When that happens, if we’re not ready and the test comes (or even the small quiz), we will fail. I almost failed my second test when I came so close to choose living in sin over God, so I don’t ever want to be unprepared for the test again. And I’m not going to let my pride lead me into destruction again. Therefore, I will put God first. I will boast Him on the mountains and in the valleys. Right now I’m standing on the top of the mountain, so I boast God and give Him all of the credit.

The Bible is very clear about the consequences of pride. “But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says: ‘God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble'” (James 4:6). The story of Nebuchadnezzar in the Old Testament should make a good warning for us about pride.

“Twelve months later, as the king was walking on the roof of the royal palace of Babylon, he said, ‘Is not this the great Babylon I have built as the royal residence, by my mighty power and for the glory of my majesty?’ Even as the words were on his lips, a voice came from heaven, ‘This is what is decreed for you, King Nebuchadnezzar: Your royal authority has been taken from you. You will be driven away from people and will live with the wild animals; you will eat grass like the ox. Seven times will pass by for you until you acknowledge that the Most High is sovereign over all kingdoms on earth and gives them to anyone he wishes.’ Immediately what had been said about Nebuchadnezzar was fulfilled. He was driven away from people and ate grass like the ox. His body was drenched with the dew of heaven until his hair grew like the feathers of an eagle and his nails like the claws of a bird” (Daniel 4: 28-33). This is the consequence of pride.

“At the end of that time, I, Nebuchadnezzar, raised my eyes toward heaven, and my sanity was restore. Then I praised the Most High; I honored and glorified him who lives forever. His dominion is an eternal dominion; his kingdom endures from generation to generation. All the peoples of the earth are regarded as nothing. He does as he pleases with the powers of heaven and the peoples of the earth. No one can hold back his hand or say to him: ‘What have you done?’ At the same time that my sanity was restore, my honor and splendor were returned to me for the glory of my kingdom. My advisers and nobles sought me out, and I was restored on my throne and became even greater than before. Now I , Nebuchadnezzar, praise and exalt and glorify the King of heaven, because everything he does is right and all his ways are just. And those who walk in pride he is able to humble” (Daniel 4: 34-37). This is the reward for humility.

As Scripture has said God is sovereign over all things, on earth and in heaven. And he clearly personally demonstrated His sovereignty over my life during this immigration process. The world said it would take 6-8 months for the PERM, God did it in 2 months. The world said it would take 15 days for the employer approval; God did it in less than a week. The world said it would take 2 months for the fingerprint, God did it in 10 days.  The world said the last step would take 6-12 months; God did it in 4 months. The world said it would take 3 weeks to mail the actual green card, God did it in 4 days. So if I do the math right, the world was wrong every time because God has always been in control since the beginning and throughout the entire process. I was well protected under His sovereign hands. Even better not only that He took care of all of the big steps with immigration, He cared enough to give me the little gifts that warmed my heart; so many surprises that I didn’t even ask for. About two months before the green card came, God gave me the opportunity to visit NYC and take photos in front of the Statue of Liberty. I have waited 9 years in America to take these photos since NYC and the Statue of Liberty represented America for me when I was in Vietnam; something I could only see from afar but could never touch. But of course with God’s help, things changed! Then he brought me back to Saint Louis, where our journey began, where we met for the very first time: first time at church, first time going on church retreat, first time hanging out with Christians, first time hearing about Jesus, etc. So many memories….

Throughout this immigration process, there were many times I was so scared, but I lifted my eyes up to heaven to constantly remind myself the Lord is the King of heavens and earth; His sovereignty rules over all; no man, no authority, no power on earth can compare to Him or change His plans in my life. When I am weak, He is strong for me. “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong” (2 Corinthians 12: 9-10). After the green card came, I had so many celebrations with many great people, and next week we will have a big party to celebrate with the people that were there with me at different stages of the process. Some saw it since the beginning (my dad), some only saw the finish line. But I’m thankful for all of these amazing brothers and sisters in Christ that God has put in my life. I learn that as we pursue our dreams, we can’t fly solo; we need one another for help, encouragement, and guidance. Each person needs a Paul to seek wisdom and guidance, a Luke for companionship side by side, and a Timothy to encourage and mentor. I’m thankful that I have all three in my life. And of course I thank my God and boast Him for it. To God be the glory!

Many people refuse to believe in God because of the immoral things Christians do: war on religion, men killing other men in the name of God, priests’ sexual abuse on children, bribery inside the church, etc. All of those are horrible, ugly things, but it seems like the world is confused between God and man, religion and discipleship. God didn’t steal the money from the collection; man did. God didn’t hurt the little kids, man did. God didn’t use one man to slaughter another for the fun of it, man did. So that’s the difference between God and man. God is loving, merciful, patient, kind, forgiving, just, fair, righteous, holy, perfect. Man is sinful, envious, deceitful, and evil in the heart. But not all man are like that, at least not in today’s world. There’s a group of man that’s completely different from everybody else. When the world seeks its own gain and selfish interest, this group put other people above themselves. When the world uses one man to compete against another out of jealousy, this group has patience toward others. When the world promotes kingship, pride, and power, this group just wants to be servants. When the world hates one another, this group loves each other. This group of man is called disciples or followers. But who are they following? Jesus.

Christianity is a religion, so a Christian is simply a person who follows the religion of Christianity. A disciple, however, is held accountable at a higher standard. A disciple is the one following Jesus, God Himself, not a religion made up by man. When Jesus taught His disciples, He didn’t say go and make Christians; he told them to go make disciples. A disciple is the one who follows what Jesus taught, not what the church teaches. A disciple is the one who does what Jesus did, not what religion promotes. Many can be Christians, but only a few are disciples. In October 2016, I made a decision to become a disciple. Until this day, I have kept that promise, and I will continue to keep that commitment with God.

God I acccept the responsibility to be your disciple. I choose to love you, honor you, praise you, and walk with you everyday. To act justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with you for the rest of my life and for all eternity.

Among all of the people I know, the person that fits the description of a disciple the most is my dad. He has a phone ministry where he literally talks to people on the phone for hours to counsel them and ultimately always bring them to God. One thing that amazes me the most and I honestly don’t know how he does it is how he has the patience to deal with people. Let’s take me for example. We talk for hours, I think our record is 5 hours straight non-stop but I’m not sure since we already have so many conversations. When we talk, we literally talk for hours on the phone. When our conversation is less than an hour, that’s unusual for us. But I’m such a spoiled brat, both to my dad and also to God. I don’t always take his advice the first time, but eventually typically I will. But he always patiently talks to me and LISTEN to me, now this part takes patience! And I don’t know how he does it. How can he love somebody that much to have that kind of patience on them? That I still don’t get.

As a blessed child and also a spoiled brat, I’m always on the receiving end of this ministry. Until recently, God gave me an opportunity to be on the giving end of the ministry. I think I did ok and probably passed this small quiz. But now having the experience on the giving end makes me realize how impatient I am. Well I certainly hope that this is something that will come naturally through practice. Otherwise there’s no hope for me, at least not by default. But another thing that I don’t get is how God loves me. I’m nothing but a spoiled brat, but because I’m His spoiled brat, He loves me unconditionally. Why would He love such a kid like me? I constantly complaint; I’m ungrateful. I make stupid decisions. I’m impatient and easily angered, especially when I don’t understand why certain things happen and what’s happening next. So how can He love me? How can He love somebody like me? And even better how can He trust somebody like me? How can He continue to use me to do His work by serving others? That I don’t know. But I’m certain of one thing: I’m glad He did and I hope He will continue to use me to serve others as I’m serving Him. All I want is to be a servant. And that’s how I understand what a disciple means: a servant.

When Matthew wrote down the teachings of Jesus, he probably didn’t have a clue of what would happen next. How could he? How could he know that his writings would turn out to be one of the four gospels, the most reliable and accurate recordings of teachings of Jesus on earth? He couldn’t, so he probably didn’t know. But his faith was strong enough that he wrote it down anyway. As he was listening, he was probably thinking “I don’t know what he means by this story, but let me just write it down anyway then we’ll figure it out later.” Matthew just wanted to be a disciple. So do I. As I’m writing this blog, I don’t know why, but for every article, I feel led by the Holy Spirit to write down these words. I don’t always understand everything, but I guess let me write it down now and we’ll figure it out later. It’s exciting to work for God. It’s such an honor to be His disciple, His servant! But the fate of a disciple is not pretty though, and Matthew 10 paints a very vivid picture of it. But I’m not afraid. I’m excited! I know God has a big plan for me. I don’t know what it is, but I’m excited for it. I just want to follow Jesus, be his disciple, and be a servant of God. What His plan is, I don’t know. But I’m excited as I go through one assignment at a time. And the best part about all these assignments is that we go through them together. What a great master! He doesn’t just tell me what to do and leave me alone to figure it out. He tells me what to do, guides me through the process, and does it with me. What a great Father! And the most beautiful thing of all is that the whole discipleship and servanthood are based upon love. “A new commandment I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another” (John 13: 34-35). What a love!

My prayer is that God will continue to guide my spirit to write down His words and use my heart to do His work. I want His heart to be on my lips and my hands. I want to be a faithful disciple, a good servant.

As I’m writing this article, I’m sitting at a desk in Saint Louis, MO. This city has a very special meaning in my heart. This is the first time I came to America. This is where I started my American dream toward Harvard. I left everything and everybody behind, packed my bags, hopped on a plane, and crossed the ocean for this dream. And Saint Louis is where I started the journey toward my dream. But it doesn’t stop here. This place has even more meanings than my dream and my journey to America. This is the first time I met God. I’m sure that He already knew me even before I was born, but here is where I first knew of Him. This is where I met Him for the first time. It’s my first time going to church, first time going to Sunday school, first time experiencing a church retreat (where I met Him for the first time through the love of His disciples), first time knowing the name of Jesus and what it means, first time opening and reading the Bible (before that I didn’t even know what a Bible looks like), first time hearing so many words I didn’t understand: salvation, sin, Christ/Messiah, forgiveness, unconditional love, etc. My journey of faith didn’t start till I moved to Wisconsin when my mom passed away, but Saint Louis is like a baby step to prepare me for the building of the foundation of faith later in Green Bay. Coming back to this city this weekend for a wedding is like a confirmation from God to reflect on the journey of how we started our relationship, how we met for the very first time, and what changes He has made in my life (for that I’m grateful for all eternity). The closer I get to God, the more I realize what a spoiled brat I am and how much I don’t deserve Him. Yet at the same time, the more confidence I have in my identity in Christ and the stronger my faith gets. That doesn’t make any sense, or maybe it does but I just don’t get it. Either way it’s such a wonderful thing to be with God and to walk with Him everyday. Now writing this article in this city marks a full circle of our relationship. It doesn’t end here. It’s just exciting to walk through the rest of life with Him.

Everybody has a story to tell, a life story. Some may be sadder than others; some may sound more interesting than others. But for each of us, our own story is the most important because the story paints a picture of our lives. However, when we look outward and listen to other people’s stories instead of focusing on our own, we can learn so much from their stories. And sometimes when their stories are similar to ours, we can relate and get encouraged by hearing what they have been through.

Because of that reason, I decided to create this website to write down my testimony of how I came to God, accepted Christ in my life, and decided to follow Him. This website and my story are not about me. When you read my story, please keep in mind that this testimony’s main purpose is to glorify God, my Savior who has provided me every single step through every single trial. I hope that my story will encourage you to continue putting your trust in God and believing that He will deliver you from whatever you are going through.