I grew up in a city called Saigon in Vietnam. My parents were successful business people, and I have always been their precious daughter since the day I was born. My mom and dad loved me more than anything in the world, and I knew from the bottom of my heart that they would sacrifice their own lives for me (until this day I still believe that). Since I was in second grade, I always wanted to come to America because of many reasons. First, all of the “cool” things always seemed to take place in this country, at least that’s what it showed on TV. Second, it was a trend in Vietnam at the time (and probably still is today) to go study abroad. But the most important reason is that coming to this beautiful land, getting a college education here, and living the American dream have always been my mom’s dream. After the Vietnam War, she had an opportunity to escape to California, so my mom, my dad, and my brother got on a boat heading toward America. But unfortunately, they got caught and sent back to Vietnam. So 15 years later, I wanted to fulfill that dream for her.

August 7, 2008 I landed in Saint Louis, Missouri under my J-1 exchange student visa. Though I took some English classes in Vietnam, I barely understood what people were saying. And just like millions of immigrants coming to this land, I felt lost and hopeless. To be honest, I sometimes wondered if coming here was a mistake. What was a fifteen-year-old girl thinking to leave her family and fly across the ocean to stay with strangers? What was the American dream? Was it worth it? Was it worth leaving everyone and everything behind to take this risk? Though I had doubt in my mind, I decided that it was worth it! I took this risk because I wanted to answer a question burning inside my heart: what is the secret ingredient that makes America who she is? There must be something that makes this country the best place on earth, and I wanted to know what that “thing” is. As some of you know if you are also immigrants from foreign countries, the first year is always the most difficult time. Though my host family was nice to me, I missed my mom and dad so much! My heart broke every holiday, Christmas (yes people celebrate Christmas in Vietnam even if they don’t know the story behind it), New Year, Lunar New Year, Full Moon Festival. Eventually I got adapted, and everything got better little by little. As required by my host parents, I had to attend church with them. It was my first time being exposed to Christianity. For the first time, I heard about Jesus, crucifixion, sin, salvation, Father, Son and Holy Spirit. All of that sounded like German for me; none of them made any sense. But I was polite, so I did what I was supposed to do. And I attended church regularly every week with my host family. Sometimes I gave them an attitude, but most of the times, I behaved really well. Time flew by, and my time was up under the J-1 exchange student visa, so I came home to Vietnam. And that concluded my sophomore year in high school.

After one great summer in Vietnam, I came back to America in August 2009 to start my junior year in high school in Green Bay, Wisconsin under a F-1 student visa. This time I stayed with a great host family, and as usual I still had to go to church every Sunday as required by my host parents. But this year was a little better for me since I already got more experience with Christianity last year. However, something weird happened. Every time I tried to call my mom, she didn’t pick up the phone. I kept asking my dad and other relatives in Vietnam, and they constantly told me that my mom was busy. Then one day (the fatal day that I will never forget) my uncle called  and told me that my mom got really sick and that I had to go back to Vietnam right away. I was so scared! Based on his tone and what has happened so far, I knew that the situation was serious. I felt hopeless and powerless because there was nothing I could do to fix the situation. Coming from a Buddhist background, I tried to pray to Buddha, but I didn’t feel connected somehow. It was like talking to a wall, and nobody responded back. It was like Buddha wasn’t listening to me at all and didn’t care about me or my situation. Then out of despair, I tried to pray to the “American God,” whom I knew nothing about, but maybe it would work. On the flight back to Vietnam, my heart was burning every second. Every step was a torture. Part of me wished I could get there immediately to find out what was going on, but the other part just wanted to hide because I was so afraid of what I would see. Eventually the plane landed, and my uncle picked me up at the airport. On the ride home, he told me that my mom passed away. I didn’t know how to react so I was just making small talk with him. When we got home, I saw my dad, and right away I started crying non stop in his arms. It was September 11, 2009 when she passed away. I have never been the same after that day. It felt like a part of me was lost, and I could never get that back. I lost the person who loved me the most. The pain I felt at that time had no word that I could describe, and I didn’t understand why my family and I had to go through it. We were not bad people, and we have never done anything seriously wicked. Now thinking back, I’m glad everything happened the way it did. This was the first serious trial I faced in my life, and with the help of God, I became stronger after that. I would not have been the person I am today if I would not have had to go through this pain.

After the funeral, I went back to America to finish my junior year with so much pain, anger, and confusion. My heart got broken because I lost the person whom loved me the most in this world. Anger got a hold of me because neither my Buddha nor the American God saved my mom. And I was so confused of why He would take such a good person away. I strongly believed that I would never be happy again. Unexpectedly, I could never imagine but this was only the beginning of what was about to come. A couple months later, my dad called and told me that he went bankrupt. He couldn’t pay the debt so now he had to run away because in Vietnam at that time (and until this day I believe), there was no bankruptcy law. So if you owe money and can’t pay, they will put you in prison. So here I was 16 years old, losing my mom and everything else. So many questions came into my mind:. These questions kept going through my head and haunted me every night with fear, anxiety, and confusion.

What am I going to do? School is paid for this year but how about my senior year? How am I going to survive without any financial support? Without the money, I can’t come back to America. But going back to Vietnam is not an option either because I can’t keep up with the education there since I already missed two years when I was in the U.S. How about college? It was my mom’s dream for me to go to college in America, but under this situation, I can’t go to college at all, which means that not only I can’t fulfill her last wish but I also have no future ahead of me. How about my dad? What is he going to do? Where is he going to hide? And how long does he have to hide? Forever? That seems like a life time.

However, among all of this darkness, there was a light. My host parents in Wisconsin at the time were very faithful Christians. Days after days, nights after nights, they would share with me the truth about God. Earlier the story of Jesus sounded like a propaganda to me. But now it seemed more and more realistic. We spent hours talking about my pain, anger, and confusion when they showed me the love of Christ, something I have never experienced or witnessed before in my life. It did not happen in one night but was truly a work in progress for a couple months. At that time when it felt like I lost everything, I decided to give the “American God” a second chance; He was my only hope since there was absolutely nothing I could do to fix the situation. I couldn’t bring my mom back to life. I couldn’t help my dad financially. I couldn’t get the money for my education. It was all darkness around me, and it felt like there was no way out to the light. Then I realized that I was weak and powerless, and I couldn’t control the situation at all. So eventually my heart was soften; I accepted the reality of the situation and my own weakness, and then little by little I decided to let God take control and rely on Him. I was still mad at Him for taking my mom away but under this situation, I was powerless. There was nothing else I could do, so I decided to pray to Him again. I already lost everything, and He was the only hope I had left at this point. So everyday I cried and prayed to God to fix this situation and allow me to come back to America for my senior year.

At the end of my junior year, I packed my bag with the fear that I would never see this beautiful country again, and this was the end of my American dream as well as my mom’s American dream. But the Lord worked in the most miraculous way we could never imagine. After a series of begging and humiliation, my relatives provided me enough money to come back to America to finish my senior year in high school. This was the first miracle I have received from God. He made the impossible possible for me. When I was in complete despair and darkness, He gave me hope and provided what I needed. At that moment, I knew there was a God; He was powerful, and nothing could stop him. But the trial didn’t just end here. Now I faced another trial: how about college? I couldn’t afford college in America, and I was not qualified for FAFSA or any grant because I was not a citizen. Even if I got a partial scholarship, it still would not be enough. At the same time, I couldn’t go to college in Vietnam either because after missing three years, I couldn’t catch up with the competitive education there. So the only way for me to go to college was to get a full scholarship in America. But full scholarships in America were (and still are till this day I think) rare for international students, like a 1% chance. While dealing with the loss of my mom, I was facing the fear of deportation because without college, I could not legally stay in America since my visa would expire after high school. At this point there was only one thing I could do: I went back to God and prayed every night. I never asked Him to make it easy; I just prayed that He would make it possible. And I was right; it was not easy at all. Days after days, I got one rejection letter after another from all of the colleges I applied to. Though with a 4.0 GPA, none of the door was open because as an international student, the admission decisions were not need-blind. And given my situation that I could not pay a dime for college, no school wanted to give me a chance. This was definitely the most difficult time in my life, but now looking back, I’m glad it happened because this experience has brought me closer to God. My logic was simple: He has saved me once, so He can do it again. The more rejection letters I received, the harder I tried. The more darkness surrounded me, the more I prayed. The more fear I had, the more hope I put in God. “When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. In God, whose word I praise – in God I trust and am not afraid” (Psalm 56: 3-4). And something interesting happened. The more I prayed, the more I got to know God. I’m not talking about knowing God as knowledge about God but really know Him for who He truly is and eventually building an intimate relationship with Him. During this time of desperation and hopelessness, God gave me love, mercy, strength, wisdom, and courage to continue this life. And because of this situation, we got a lot closer to each other. “Come near to God and He will come hear to you” (James 4:8). So on my eighteenth birthday, January 14, 2011, I got baptized and truly believed in Jesus. Three months later, I got a phone call from the admission office: I was awarded a full scholarship to a small college in Boca Raton, Florida. This was the second miracle God has granted me. I applied to 22 colleges, and only one of them accepted me with a full scholarship. Among 400 students accepted to this college that year, only two received the scholarship. God has turned the 1% chance into reality for me. Because of this experience, I knew from the bottom of my heart how powerful my God was, is, and forever will be. He has proved Himself to be faithful one time after another. He gave me hope in the darkest time and carried me through the most difficult storms. He delivered me in ways I could never imagine. He took control of the situations and worked them out for my good simply because He loved me. The God who created the universe and raised Christ from the death lives right inside my heart. Whom shall I fear? “Even though I walk in the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me” (Psalm 23: 4). “If God is for us, who can be against us?” (Romans 8:31). “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength” (Philippians 4:13).

During four years in college, my relationship with God had its ups and downs but the overall trend was going upward. Because of the trials God has allowed me to go through, my faith in Him got stronger every day. There is no doubt in my mind that my God can do anything and everything. He is the Almighty God, and no one else can compare to Him. However, though my faith in God was stronger, my trust in Him was still weak. Four years flew by, and now I was facing another trial: after college, I needed to have a company willing to sponsor me to continue staying in America legally. It was necessary to have a job to stay in my OPT, but in order to fix the problem permanently, I needed a sponsor for my H-1B visa and eventually a green card. So another trial took place. Just like four years ago, one rejection after another came in because of my immigration status. It was the same pain, anger, and confusion along with the fear of deportation. But this time something was different. My faith in God grew stronger than it had been four years ago. The more I cried, the more I prayed. The more companies rejected me, the more I relied on God. The more pain Satan caused, the more love I felt from my Savior. I remember there were so many times I collapsed on my knees, crying my heart out to the Lord, and desperately called His name. This was my philosophy: if He has done it before, He will do it again. God has never failed, and He won’t start now. He saved my life two times before, so this is just simply another trial on my journey with Him. “The Lord who rescued me from the paw of the lion and the paw of the bear will rescue me from the hand of this Philistine” (1 Samuel 17:37). “You come against me with sword and spear and javelin, but I come against you in the name of the Lord Almighty” (1 Samuel 17:45). Thousands of years ago, God rescued David three times because David was a man after God’s own heart. So I believed that He would do the same for me. After all, He has already done it twice, so He would do it again. And He actually did. I applied for 62 jobs, three of them offered me the position, willing to sponsor me for a H-1B visa. This was the third miracle I received from God.

But this time was a little different. Though I got the sponsor, I didn’t win the H-1B lottery. Though my OPT would cover me for one year, and we could try the H-1B again next year, there was no guarantee I would win the lottery next year. And if I didn’t, I couldn’t even imagine what would happen. When I first got the bad news, I was so angry at God. I didn’t understand why He would fail me this time after all of the trials we have been through together. I felt betrayed by the one I loved the most. How could He do such a thing? I prayed, I believed Him, yet He didn’t deliver. This feeling lasted for a week, and eventually I let go of the anger and let God take control over my life. Of course this did not happen over night; it was a series of one prayer after another. So after one year of OPT, my sponsor applied for the H-1B visa again, and we didn’t win the lottery again. Similar to last time, I got confused and angry at God. I was disappointed at Him for not delivering me twice. But eventually, through the power of prayers and the strength of the Holy Spirit in me, my heart got soften. Basically God and I made up!

Today the fear of deportation still worries me and makes me lose sleep sometimes. For me, the fear of deportation is much worse than anything, even the pain caused by the loss of my mom, because getting deported means losing hope. The desire for the American dream has taken me to this country at the age of 15, and my dream keeps me going and doing my best regardless of all obstacles. Getting deported means losing this hope, my American dream. Under this trial, I realized that though I had faith in God, I didn’t trust Him fully. When things didn’t go the way I wanted, I got angry at Him instead of trusting Him and believing that His plan was better than mine. So despite how I feel about the situation, I choose to trust God and continue to follow His will. Whatever that is, I don’t know, but I trust Him and I know that as long as I follow Jesus and His plan for my life, I will be just fine. “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good” (Genesis 50:20). “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight” (Proverbs 3: 5-6). “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:6-7). “Seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you” (Matthew 6:33). “Faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see” (Hebrews 11:1). “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts” (Isaiah 55:8-9). “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future” (Jeremiah 29:11).

Eight years ago I came to this country to look for an American dream. Instead I found God, the best thing ever in my life. I came here to search for the secret ingredient that makes America the best place on earth. Then I found God, the secret ingredient that created the beautiful America.

***UPDATE*** On May 5th, 2017, after years of fighting this battle, multiple trials, countless heartbreak, and tears of despair, God delivered the green card into my hands. Words can’t express my joy and describe how thankful I am for what He has done. I no longer live in fear. Instead from now on I can freely and boldly live my life and enjoy my life to the fullest. He did it! We did it together! I did my parts, and He did His. And the timing was perfect! Now I can start living out my American dream. Northwestern will start in less than four months, and hopefully, if this is God’s will, Harvard will come true in three years. I know the secret to success now: I just do my parts and let God take care of the rest. This is the God I serve: bigger than any human plan, more powerful than any authority, calmer than any storm, and stronger than any trial. I give Him all of the credit for this victory since none of that belongs to me. Yes I did my parts, but He was the ultimate deliverer. Without me, He can still accomplish His plan, but without Him, I’m nothing. So I praise my God for the victory He has delivered into my hand, for the glory He alone rightfully deserves, and for the gift He gracefully gave me that I wanted so bad all these years. So because of all of this, I don’t boast about myself. Instead I boast about my God who has walked with me, stood by me, and fought with me throughout this entire battle. TO GOD BE THE GLORY!

***UPDATE*** On April 2nd, 2019, I got a congratulation call from Yale that I have been accepted to their MBA program. After more than 10 years, I am finally Ivy League material. When I was 15, I left everything and everyone in Vietnam to move to this country for the American dream, for an Ivy League education, for Harvard. Well Harvard never happens, and that’s absolutely ok. Yale is more than enough. God has finally made this dream come true, and I’m so thankful that He never gives up on my dream. TO GOD BE THE GLORY!

***UPDATE*** On May 5th, 2022, exactly five years since I received my green card, I have married Joseph, the love of my life, the man of my dreams, and the answer to my prayers. God has blessed me abundantly. I have never been this happy since I moved to America. After my mom passed away, and my dad went bankrupt, my biggest fear in life was to die alone and have nobody to take care of me if/when I got seriously ill because I didn’t have a family. I no longer have that fear. I no longer am alone. Joseph is not only my husband; he’s also my family. Together we’ll expand our family with our future children. When I’m sick, someone will be there to take care of me. I no longer have to worry about it. I no longer live in fear. From the bottom of my heart, I thank and praise the Lord my God. Words can’t express how grateful I am for my husband, my hero husband, my jackpot for he’s everything I’ve ever prayed for. He’s a smart, family-oriented, loving, caring, well-educated godly man. After graduating from Yale, I relocated to Michigan for my first job post business school (to join the deal team of a buyout private equity shop – my dream job) and met Joe through a dating app called Coffee Meats Bagel. Joe and I had two virtual dates before we met in person because at that time, I was visiting my host family in Wisconsin while Joe was visiting his family in California. After two video dates, Joe and I had our first real (in-person) date at a restaurant called “Ford’s Garage” in Dearborn, Michigan. As a Ford’s employee, Joe was eligible for 10% discount. However, the young man was so mesmerized by me that he forgot to ask for the discount. After dinner, Joe didn’t want the date to end too soon, so he suggested a casual walk in the nearby trail. I gladly agreed as I didn’t want the date to end either. Throughout the stroll, I was dropping many hints for Joe to take my hand, but he was clueless. At the end of the walk when it got dark, I told Joe I was scared of the darkness. Joe understood the hint this time and reached out to hold my hand, telling me that he would protect me and that I would be safe with him by my side. Joe and I have been holding hands since then. After a few months into our relationship, I decided to quit my high-demand job in private equity because I knew this career wouldn’t allow me the time and attention I needed to build a family with Joe. We moved to Florida, and I came back to the company that sponsored my green card. They gladly welcomed me back with better title and higher compensation as a result of my hard work to earn the MBA at Yale. It was a full circle. Thanks to COVID, Joe and I had an accelerated dating path in which we got to see each other everyday. Instead of a traditional proposal, Joe and I exchanged love tokens, a Chinese tradition that symbolizes the promise to marriage. Throughout our lives, Joe and I have witnessed countless times the miracles of God and experienced His perfect, unconditional love firsthand. Therefore, we have decided to dedicate our wedding days to the Lord to honor Him first, honor our parents second, and then celebrate our love for one another. We had two wedding ceremonies. The first one was a minimony on the beach in Florida with only 10 close friends and family, following by a reception at Ford’s Garage. God has planned everything for us: we had our first date at Ford’s Garage in Michigan and our wedding reception at Ford’s Garage in Florida. The second wedding was at an outdoor venue in SoCal to celebrate with all our loved ones. I’ve been faithful to God, and He has been faithful to me. All these years, I was waiting till marriage, and I was a virgin till the wedding night because I wanted to honor God with my body. “Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore, honor God with your bodies” (1 Corinthians 6: 19-20). When I do my part, God does His part. He never fails and is always faithful. TO GOD BE THE GLORY!