Lately a friend of mine raised a very good question for me that I didn’t quite know how to answer (till I talked to my dad of course): how do we bring back a prodigal son? In this case, that can also be a prodigal daughter, sister, brother, cousin, friend, etc. If somebody grew up on a Christian foundation in a godly home and turned away from God, how do we win them back? What can we say to them to turn them away from the dark side? Some may have more severe situations than others: drug, sex, abortion, prostitution vs. workaholics, love of money, atheism. It seems like if we say the wrong thing, it will push them away even more; the basic concept of reverse psychology I suppose. The more we pull, the more we push them further and further from the truth. But at the same time, we can’t just do nothing and let them fail. Do we simply wait for them to hit rock bottom and then come in with our message?

Well if you see somebody getting closer to a cliff, will you warn them to take a step back or just let them fall off the cliff? If you see a soul parked at the gate of hell and only one step away from it, will you bring them back to the light or just let their soul suffer for all eternity while enjoying your salvation? At this point, I think it’s clear that we have to, not that we should but have to, do something. What should we do? And even if we want to, can we really make a difference? Will it work? They won’t listen, so what else can we say? How much more and what more can we do?

When we start asking these questions, our heart is in the right place because we sincerely want to help them. But unfortunately, we ask the wrong questions. We can’t say anything in situation like this but we can do something about it. In other words, we can’t preach them back to the truth but we can love them back to the light. Don’t judge them on where they’re at but love them back to where they should be. Can’t preach them back, can’t scare them back, can’t present logic and evidence to win them back, can’t talk the senses to lure them back, can’t bribe them back, can’t promise them something to turn them back. But we can always love them back. That’s the power of true love; that’s the power of God’s love in us and through us. This love is the force behind Jesus coming down from heaven to save us. This love is the core of our salvation and hence the foundation of our faith. If this love is so big that it can defeat death and give us eternal life in the kingdom of God, then what else can stand before this kind of love? What limit does it have? What earthly force can say no and not bow down to this kind of love? Nothing, no force, no limit.

So the first step we should do to a prodigal son in our life is not preaching to them but simply loving them through all of this. Don’t meet up to tell them what a loser they are or what a mess they make. Meet up to get dinner, go to a movie, order pizza, share a cookie, joke around, go fishing, go bowling, play basketball, play soccer, dress up, wear makeup, watch YouTube videos, etc. The cookie and the soccer ball will open the door to the pain behind their decision to walk away. Then when that door is open, your prodigal son, you, and God all together can get to the bottom of the pain and fix the core of the problem. People don’t just sell their bodies for money for fun; no child dreams about becoming a thief. There’s a reason behind that decision to walk away. Most of the times, it involves a pain that’s too big to describe and too much to bear. Without knowing what that pain is, there’s nothing we can say to win them back. Without them opening their heart, there’s nothing we can do to turn them away from hell. But we have the power that Satan doesn’t have: the power of love. This is the unconditional, powerful, magnificent, pure, beautiful, overwhelming love through the Holy Spirit in Christ from the Heavenly Father. This sincere love can unlock any door to the bottom of the heart where pain resides and rules over. Then this same powerful love, once touches the heart, can break the pain with hope and faith that no demon can attack. It creates a shield of protection that Satan can’t even touch. It speaks the truth that no lie can withstand. And all of that starts not with great preaching, not with multiple Bible verses reciting, not with knowledge pouring out. That love starts with a small simple action of bonding, a cookie, a soccer ball. It starts with a simple question above all spiritual knowledge “hey do you want to hangout?” Becasuse that question means “I love you,” “I don’t care what everyone else says, you’re still my brother/sister/cousin/daughter/son,” “I care for you enough to make time for you,” “I put you above my schedule and other things in my life,” “I miss you and want to see you,” “you are a priority for me that I want to see you face to face.” The prodigal son doesn’t need anyone else to judge them, they already judge themselves inside, whether they admit it to the outside world or not. What they need is somebody to love them so that they can see and experience first hand, not hear about it, the love of God from this person who loves them regardless.

The salvation message can’t be preached without a strong foundation of understanding. Without the Old Testament, how can we possibly understand the preparation for the New Testament? Without the law, the history, and the prophets, how can we understand the unconditional love through the forgiveness of sin? Without acknowledging our past of what a wretched sinner we are, how can we fully accept the perfect Christ? The worst sinner of all can turn out to be the most faithful servant among all. Look at Paul, what a great example! So again don’t judge them on where they’re at but love them back to where they should be. God may do something extraordinary from this experience to turn an ugly past into a bright future of breakthroughs to glorify Him in heaven and earth. The gospel message didn’t come to me immediately the first time I heard it. I didn’t accept the gift of salvation the first time I was “preached” on. A foundation was built for me and in me before I took that first step to follow Jesus by accepting Him into my life. That foundation was built from multiple branches that come from the vine of Christ: my parents in Wisconsin, my theology teacher in high school, the church retreat in Saint Louis, the church we attended in Green Bay, etc. Church is not where our salvation is based on; our salvation is based on Christ alone. Church is simply a social club to help build that foundation to help prepare us and make sure we’re ready when the moment of decision comes.

An evangelist with a high success rate is not the one with great preaching talent or persuasive skill. That’s the lucky one who meets people who already have a strong foundation built prior to that moment of decision. When there’s no foundation, the message won’t stick because it’s like building something on sand, which will collapse eventually. So the gospel message shouldn’t be delivered as a single moment of impulse but should be treated as a journey, a process, with love and patience. Don’t just preach the gospel immediately, but love them through the journey first to build that foundation of understanding and then preach the gospel when the moment of decision comes, when the foundation is strong enough for the prodigal son to make the right choice. When all of these people built the foundation in me, I didn’t even have a clue. I was simply loved through all of this. But these evangelists knew what they were doing when they planted the seed in me. Not till later when the moment of decision came and I made the right choice that these people saw the fruit of their work. Throughout the process of laying down this foundation, nobody knew how I would turn out; they simply had patience on me and loved me through the journey. What a beautiful thing to serve God! What a love! A love that is so big, so powerful, pure, beautiful, unconditional, magnificent, that the world desperately needs but knows not of. What a God! So perfect, righteous, holy yet so merciful, patient, loving, full of grace and truth.